Love From Their Point of View

Welcome to the internet.

There are millions upon millions of lists, articles, videos, memes, etc. on how to keep your relationship in tip top shape. A lot of people think there is this big mystery ingredient to keeping your relationships a float.

FIRST let me say, if you have to WORK that hard to keep your partner happy, consider getting a new partner. I'd never tell someone to leave their partner but if you've tried everything... wake up and smell the single life. But those signs are for another post.

SECOND, it really is not that difficult to grasp and it really isn't that much of a mystery. Are you ready?

LOVE from their point of view. LOVE. From THEIR point of view. Let that sink in, marinate on it for just a minute.

Now you may be thinking, 'JP what the HELL does that mean?' I'll tell you.

Let us begin.

If you are a mature adult you know that in every aspect of life, people disagree and have their own opinions and thoughts (I know shocking) and as a mature adult, we respect those differences. Hey man, you're different from me. COOL, we can still be friends, let's talk about those differences, let's explore that! So if we can accept that strangers are different from us, like different things, why can we not accept and acknowledge that would be the case for our partner?

We often forget that our partner is separate from ourselves. Especially if you've been together for a while, it is EASY to fall into that "we are one" mentality. And after the romance of that ideal dies down, we realize: Oh shit, we're different people who have different likes, interests, and needs. (Stay with me, I'm getting to the point)

So here is the "secret." Love your partner the way THEY want to be loved. Now what does that mean? Everyone has different ideas of what love means to them, different ways of how it should be shown. For example, I know my man loves me if he cleans the whole house and takes the baby for a day so I don't have to. But that's not necessarily how I'd show him I love him. Get me? Sometimes our ideas of love match up (and that's great if they do) but oftentimes they don't and you'll have to step out of your comfort zone to show your partner you care. That's just how it is.

I know a lot of people who equate material gifts as an expression of love. And sure, there are some men and women who think the amount of money spent is the amount of love in the bank. But that is not the case for everyone! Some of us require a little more depth and creativity. Run a bubble bath, hand write a love letter, bake them their favorite dessert, cook their favorite meal, pack and picnic, clean the house, do the laundry, have a game night. LITERALLY, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

We often get sucked into the #relationshipgoal culture that is our society these days and we forget that what we see on social media is FAKE NEWS 99.9 percent of the time. Just take a moment to recognize what you have with your partner is REAL and all you have to do, literally all you have to do, is think about what your partner would love. In short, put yourself in your partner's shoes. This is the KEY to relationships, romantic or not. Empathy will take you far.