Love Hurts

I love you. Oh, how I do. I always believed you loved me too; the sweet words, the caresses and the sweet nothings you whisper into my ears, you are everything to me. We are perfect together. My life is finally starting to look more promising. This is what I've always dreamt being loved was like.

Things change, your bitter tongue and it's hurtful words strike at my heart, it was pain like no other. I ignore your temper and tell myself you were just having a bad day, but I notice the viciousness is becoming more frequent. You call me every name under the sun, I'm starting to lose my self-esteem and I am lacking confidence. It's been a while since you whispered sweet nothings in my ear and I've forgotten what sweet words sound like and what being caressed felt like. What have I done? I ask. Why are you like this? But you never answer; so many questions in my head but very few spoken. My heart breaks more each day. Should love hurt?

We have begun to live in separate rooms, the only time we see each other is at bedtime. You are all over me then. I'm starting to feel like you only want me for sex. I come into the room where you are; I'm missing you and wanting your affection.

‘What do you want women?’ You yelled.

I don't want you near me but now that you're here I want a drink and something to eat. That's all it is these days; you barking orders at me, do this, do that. But I tend to you hand and foot, hoping you’ll love me again. The pain is constant but I still love you. I worship you.

You strike me. I'm bleeding, you show no emotion; you just yell at me to ‘get myself cleaned up.’ What did I do wrong? Why is he so stressed?

I do everything he asks me to do to keep him happy but I guess it's not enough. He comes charging into the room where I am, nothing but verbal abuse leaving his mouth. He doesn't love me anymore, I see this now, but I love him more than anything, he's started packing his stuff, I'm begging him not to go.

I know it's for the best but my heart is breaking at the sight of him wanting to leave. For a moment; I forgot about the blood, but as I look down at the floor I notice it dripping onto my best top, the one he bought me. It's ruined.

He’s shouting again. I can see the evil in his eyes, I brace myself for the spiteful words he's going to yell at me, but although I can see him speaking I can't hear the words. I've gone numb. I'm glad I can't hear what he's saying; all it will be is the same hurtful words.

I remember every word he shouts at me; they’re stuck in my head, never to be forgotten. He slaps me, bringing me to his attention. He always wants attention, that's the main reason he loses his cool when he's not getting what he wants.

‘You're a worthless woman!’ he shouts. ‘You do my head in, I'm done with you.’

The words cut me like a knife. They cut me deep. I fall to the ground, broken. He leaves me there with not so much as a backward glance. I lie there still, tears streaming down my cheeks.

This is all my fault, the whole time I thought I was doing as he asked, I was just stressing him out…

I've brought this on myself. I pushed him to the limit and now he's gone, my love has really gone. What was once perfect has crumbled right beneath my feet. I'll never love again.

Love hurts too much