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Being in a relationship with someone you love requires a lot of work and effort. That includes understanding each other, especially the way you show love to one another. Sometimes we tend to feel like people don't love us the way we love them but in most cases, we just don't love the same way. The key to being in a long lasting and loving relationship is understanding what you and your partner perceive as love and how you both show it. There are five different ways people can show love, more commonly known as the five love languages.
1. Acts of Service
Whether it is you or your partner, sometimes we like to do our partner's laundry, clean their side of the room, cook for them, etc. These all fall under acts of service we do for one another to show our love towards that person. This is their way of loving you because they know that it may make your day easier, take a load off, and especially mean the world to you. Signs of laziness and making more work for this type of person will damage their perception of the relationship.
2. Physical Touch
Have you ever been sitting/laying down with your partner on the couch and just the fact that you have your leg on theirs, maybe your head on their lap, or the occasional head/hair rub? Well, this is another common way people like to show their love. This kind of physical touch does not have to be sexual. In fact, we get nothing arousing out this. It more so provides a sense of comfort and security. It makes this person feel like you care and love them. On the other hand, with this kind of person, neglect can be very destructive to the relationship and produce feelings of insecurity. They may feel like you no longer want them or that they've done something wrong.
3. Quality Time
One of the most common ways people show their love is through quality time. Spending time together is what is important to us, whether it's laying in bed talking or going out on a date. All we want is to be with you and feel your presence. It is all about your undivided attention. The lack of attention and frequent distractions is damaging to the relationship.
4. Receiving Gifts
This one's a bit tricky. I would like to point out that this does NOT mean getting in an argument and buying your partner a pair of expensive shoes because you messed up and never talking about the problem again. This is more so giving/receiving meaningful gifts without reason or better said without the intention of trying to repair something. This type of person loves buying you things because they know it will make you happy and that makes them happy as well. Being the receiver, getting gifts isn't just about the item itself, it's more so about the meaning behind and the simple fact that they were thinking about you that makes us feel loved. Missing any occasion in which a gift would be called for makes the person feel as if you don't care or love them. Romantic gestures are everything here!
5. Words of Affirmation
And now the most obvious one, hearing the words "I love you," "I appreciate you," "I'm blessed to have you," "I am proud of you." These kinds of words mean the world to us and no gift could ever compare to the feeling we get hearing this. It makes this kind of person feel appreciated and loved beyond what we ever imagined. As the person saying these words, it makes them feel happy saying them to you and also feels as if their love deepens every time they say these things to you. As important as these words are, it is equally damaging to the relationship if you say something rude/nasty to this person. In this case, your words speak louder than anything!
Knowing how both you and your partner prefer to be loved is very important in understanding your relationship. You should also self-reflect a bit and understand how it is that you love to see if it is compatible to how your partner wants to be loved. This article only scratches the surface but understanding this principle will surely lead to a healthier and happier relationship.
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