Love, Love, Love

It’s hard to fathom that there was once a time where a man would sweep a woman off her feet. He would wait to call her, open doors for her, take care of her. He would court her, spending hours planning, talking, dedicating to her. He would think of her as he’s out with his friends, sitting bored at work, or even going for a run. There once was a time where chivalry was the norm.

When my mom told me about how she and my dad met, it sounded like a fairytale. He was an executive at the office where she was a secretary. Although they never worked directly together, she worked for people that he worked for, so their paths crossed often. She told me about how she had a problem with my dad, who always tried to get her in trouble. I would be lying if I said that little fact surprised me at all.

Then one day, they went to lunch together, found out they actually had a connection, and the rest is history. My mom tells me stories of how chivalrous my dad was. She told me how he was a perfect gentleman. She told me how when she moved out after being married for only a year, he came to her doorstep, flowers in hand and ready to apologize. She told me about how he would put his hand on her waist and always stand when she entered the room.

What she told me was a generational norm that has since vastly dissipated. We hear those stories all the time. Hell, people make a living writing about these fairytales. The sad truth is, that is the exception in our society.

Would I love to have a man open doors for me, stand when I enter a room, or put his hand on the small of my back when we walk across the street? Of course. I don’t know a single woman who wouldn’t want to be cherished like the gem she really is. So, my question is where did we go wrong?

How did not only women, but also men, turn into this society of one night stands and highly impersonal relationships? How did we go from calling people when we actually say we will, to completely ghosting someone we woke up next to? Is the golden rule not applicable when dating? Are we allowed to not treat others as we’d like to be treated?

The fundamental problem with dating in the modern era is not that women are giving it up too easily, as told by previous generations. I think the real problem is that no one knows how to be genuine anymore. No one has the balls to say, “yeah, that was fun, but I’m not really into a relationship right now so you probably won’t hear from me.” No one can tell you that they’re not ready to be tethered to someone else before you go home with them. No one is honest about their intentions.

Maybe because our minds automatically assume that everyone is out here looking for their Prince Charming when really, we all just want to have a good time. So, next time you’re out dating or talking to someone, try being completely honest with them and see how much further that gets you.