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We’ve all fallen for someone who isn’t right for us. It doesn’t mean that they’re horrible human beings or that they’re doing it on purpose, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting as much as it does. The question is, how do you know you’ve fallen for the wrong person? They don’t love you back! That’s how. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that they must love you back. Because they don’t feel the same way doesn’t mean you should hate them, things don’t work out sometimes and that’s OKAY! However, there are different ways to know when they don’t love you. You shouldn’t be wasting your time on people who don’t love you the way you want or need to be loved. Here are some ways to know when someone might now feel the same way, some red flags:
- You are not their number one priority.
- They don’t talk about the future.
- They don’t respect things that are important to you.
There are many other ways to know when someone doesn’t love you. These are just some that I started to notice in my past relationship.
You are not their number one priority.
Of course, there are many exceptions for this, like family, school (if they’re attending college), work, and their health. These are all important and should stay important to your significant other and you. You should care about your partners success and priorities. If they’re making you feel important still is all that matters. This doesn’t mean that gifts or anything that makes you spend money is of importance, in all honesty, it doesn’t matter at all. What matters is how much time they’re spending to make you feel special. It should be with affection, attention, spontaneous I love yous (but meaningful also), and coming to you with plans (i.e. picnic at the park, free museum date, movie date, ect.). If your partner is making you feel appreciated, wanted, and loved then you know it’s real. VOCALIZE YOUR WANTS AND NEEDS!
They don’t talk about the future.
This one is very important, when someone love you, really loves you, they can see a future with you in it. If you bring up the future, not marriage or children, but something simpler like getting a dog or cat, investing in a new car, or sharing a phone plan, or even moving in together, these are all just small examples that can very much affect your future with your significant other. I feel that I need to emphasize the fact that not everyone wants to be married. What matters is that you’re with someone who respects your wants and needs in a relationship. Be honest with them about your intentions, what you want to get out of this relationship, and where you see the relationship going. If someone you love is not giving you the space to talk about he future with them then it’s obvious they don’t see you in their future. If they saw a future with you they would take the time to pan out something with you, anything really. For example, booking a trip a year from now, talking about a phone plan together, or moving in together.
They don’t respect the things that are important to you.
This one is so REAL! Just being with someone isn’t enough. You don’t have to like the same things. They need to respect the things you love. It doesn’t mean that they need to love it too, but they should be happy for you, they should support you, even if what you like doesn’t make any sense to them. It doesn’t have to, but they should ALWAYS support you.