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Can we have a serious conversation about diversity and relationships? I mean there are so many people that just assume that monogamous marriage should be the standard for all people; the perfect and ultimate goal, but so many of us cheat and so many people marry then divorce and remarry again. So many people have multiple partners throughout their lives and even at the same time. It leads one to believe that monogamous marriage is not necessarily so overwhelming natural and perfect as often assumed.
All married people and all people involved in monogamous relationships are not necessarily happy, fulfilled, and satisfied with their choices nor do they all possess a higher degree of morality because of their relationship status. Nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Monogamy and marriage does not work for and is not meant for everyone. And the people who can not or do not engage in monogamy are no less human, moral, or spiritual that those who do. But those that do chose alternative relationship and lifestyle choices are often demonised and criticised as being immoral for not conforming to or submitting to the popularly promoted way of life.
In a multitude of unconventional cultural and societal environments, there are those that practice other unorthodox relationship and courting habits. For example, choosing to practice polygamy or polyamory works for many people who have the understanding, patience, wisdom, and ability to do so. Many who practice these types of relationships are some of the most conscious and enlightened people. They also tend to be more financially stable, open-minded, down to earth, and less judgmental of others who appear different from the norm. With nearly 8 billion people on the planet, logic and reason can tell us that these types of relationships are inevitable for many people.
As far as people who prefer to maintain a single status but also choose to engage in personal, intimate, spiritual, and sexual relationships with people that are temporary or off and on, the same thinking applies to them as well. If a conscious and self-aware adult engages in any type of relationship, be it temporary or long-term, and they make their intentions clear and upfront in the beginning of the relationship, then that can be considered a responsible relationship and can even become a spiritual experience if that is what is intended between the partners.
There have been many times when I have been engaged in a personal, intimate, and sexual relationships with someone and that relationship produced some of the most memorable and healing and comforting and and enlightening experiences that I've ever had even though it was only a temporary situation and we knew it. These experiences also lead me to believe that all of our relationships are not meant to last forever. All personal and romantic relationships don't serve the same purpose. Many of the relationships we experience over a lifetime are only meant to be lessons and sometimes are temporary therapeutic involvements to help us grow and evolve as a person.
There is no Universal standard or absolute rule when it comes to relationships. Each person must find what works for them and pursue that with like-minded people. Patience, compassion, honesty, generosity, love, and wisdom are the virtues that all relationships should possess be they short, long, monogamous, or poly.
The popularly propagated belief of a monogamous marriage and it’s moral uprightness is something that most people are indoctrinated with from birth by way of religious influence, media propaganda, and other common social aspects of our society like school and politicians. Our sense of morality is often brainwashed into without us using any critical thinking or objectivity for ourselves. Our relationships are now regulated contracted as if to say that love can only be suitable for those who qualify. Now I don’t want you to think that I am taking the position that monogamy is bad or immoral. Monogamy has historically been very useful within society. Monogamous households were often held in high regard because of the appearance and example of dedication and conservatism it gave. It gave humans purpose and structure which contributed to the propagation of our species.
But as I see it, there is no statistical or scientific evidence that can prove that monogamy is absolutely more noble and ethical than polyamory, polygamy, or casual involvements. Morality has proven to be quite circumstantial and subjective. At the end of the day, any well adjusted and rationally minded adult should have the ability to make responsible choices and engage in any and all types of relationship productively. The love we feel and express for others does not have to be limited to just one person at a time. It does not have to be qualifiable by a government agency or religious organization. It does not have to be regulated or restricted. It is quite possible to love, care for, and enjoy the intimate company of multiple partners at one time or over time. It’s just a matter of preference, intelligence, and personal need.