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One more day goes by and everything remains the same as yesterday. The sun keeps shining every morning, the rain keeps falling on warm summer nights and my loved one is always by my side. He kisses me every morning and night; wet honey-like kisses that make even the most bitter day mellow. Life seems perfect as it is with its obvious obstacles and punches that sometimes makes you want to die. But one doesn't die and doesn't give up, the heart keeps beating and the lungs breathing, days go by at their own pace and time.
But on days where solitude decides to stay, something similar to a last breath of life enters my mind in the form of a soft murmur, it's the navy blue colour of his voice, the scent of cigarettes and lotion mixed with intoxicating whispers that accelerate my pulse.
It is the ghost of my past, the secret of my present, and my future's doom. The broken dream from many years ago whose sharp and threatening pieces got stabbed in the deepest corner of my soul capable of making me bleed out if I decide to pull them out. That fallen angel whose hands never touched my skin, whose lips I never kissed, fills me with memories of moments that never came to be.
He is my madness, my darkest moments, and my most bitter tears for what was never meant to be. He is the price I must pay for my ambition of wanting to keep these feelings that have transcended time. A beautiful black-winged creature that comes to me once in a while, a temptation that never fails to remind me of my biggest sin, threatening to discover my deepest secrets and to take away the perfection of my present life.
Some may think it might be stupid to feel this way, I've become a fool that still loves him while half of my heart tears apart just to be surrounded by his arms in those moments when loneliness is all I have left. And maybe they are right, maybe it is stupid, cruel, and masochistic but aren't we all are a little crazy and absurd on the inside? He is the insane part of me, the darkness that lets me see the light, the dark velvet night sky that lets the moon shine. He and only he can harm my senses and mislead my heart. I confess, I have two great loves in my life, one is a guardian angel and the other a beautiful demon that tempts me with his voice when I'm vulnerable.
And just like this evanescent life, loneliness too comes to an end, the storm ceases and just like the moon, he hides away letting the sun have the leading role once again. He hides away his light and turns his back away from me but in the firmament of my soul, the sun warms up my everyday life while the jealous moon awaits silently for the nightfall.