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Make Time for Yourself

It's easier than you think!

By Melissa AbrahamPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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If you’re the type of person who is always being placed in the role of carer, addressing other people’s needs over your own, then putting yourself first can feel downright strange. But it can also feel overwhelming and emotionally draining to be that one person, everyone turns to All. Of. The. Time. whenever they need someone reliable. For parents, I’m not saying stop making your children a priority, but sometimes you need to be able to do something just for you to feel re-energised and centred, because if you don’t, then you won’t be of help to anyone. Trust me, I know!

Ask for help.

There's no shame in doing this. If you don’t say that you’re struggling people will assume that everything is okay. Equally smiling and saying “you’re fine” is a way of disguising to others what is really going on. When my dad was living me, I did my best to cook healthy meals daily (mainly for him) regardless of how I was feeling. I reasoned and still believe that as an elderly person it was even more important for him to have a good diet, especially given his love for fast food. But it got to the point where cooking began to feel more like a chore whereas before I really liked trying out new recipes and experimenting with flavours. My job was also becoming increasingly demanding and on top of this, I felt unsupported by my manager and clinical supervisor. I couldn’t cope. I spoke to my sister about the situation, and we agreed between the two of us that our dad could have dinner at her house—a couple of days a week and the rest with me. It became a win-win situation; he got to spend more time with his grandchildren and I felt less stressed.

Say, "NO!"

This especially applies to those circumstances when someone wants to add to your current responsibilities. And the person doing the asking is perfectly able to perform the task/activity themselves (not necessarily in a work context but even then you can try to compromise). It’s just easier to come to you because based on past experience, they know you will say yes. Saying no during these instances may initially leave you feeling guilty. But it’s vital in being able to maintain your sense of well-being; as letting stored up feelings of anger and resentment fester can be damaging.

Take time out for yourself.

This can be for as little as 15 minutes, an hour, half a day or more; however long you have available; to do what you enjoy. I have a good friend that likes to watch EastEnders once her young daughters have gone to bed usually accompanied by an ice lolly. And that’s enough for her—to have some quality ‘me time.’ Another element of this is time out from people who sap your energy and are more than happy to take and receive but not give. Instead surround yourself with individuals who are supportive, encouraging and accepting.

And you may find, when you stop constantly being the go-to person, that other people will step out from behind your shadow and show what they’re also capable of. Making time for yourself doesn’t mean you stop caring about others, it’s acknowledging that you need care and attention too.

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About the Creator

Melissa Abraham

I am a writer, children's book author, child counsellor, and hobby artist with a love for chocolate & other sweet treats.

Website: melissacaabraham.wordpress.com

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