Marriage Expectation

I wouldn't define myself as an overly anxious person. I do tend to worry about a lot of things in my life. This is one of them.

It has been two and half years since we've been married. Sure, we've had multiple arguments and fights, but they have been healthy most of the time. I just need to get my point across, and so do you. Trust me. I get it. For the most part, I like to think that things run smoothly between the two of us. I think you think the same way, but I am never really sure with you.

Before we were married, I never thought much about it, or ever, and when we were engaged, I never really thought to ask what I was expected to do as a wife. The whole thing was new to me, my parents are divorced, and my mom really handled everything on her own. I already knew that your parents seemed to do things the old fashioned way: The husband went to work and the wife stayed home. The classic marriage situation. I see it everyday.

At first, I always thought your mom had it so damn easy. I would always think, "She got to stay home all day and relax, lucky her." I never thought it would come to that point with me, especially at this current time. We need the income in order to live as we do currently. Therefore, I would have automatically thought that certain chores would be split. Was I ever wrong?

Since we've been married, I can say that you've only done the dishes five or six times. You moan and groan every time I ask you to do something. Even simple things like helping me make OUR bed or moving the laundry to the dryer is like pulling teeth.

The absolute only time I see you contribute or help is when I'm gone for the weekend. I'm sure you wait until everything is at its worst before you lift a finger. Then when I come home, I'm always so amazed that something is clean or done. Then you ALWAYS expect something in return for what you've done; more recently it's been blowjobs. I've been so lucky. NOT.

Meanwhile, here I am running around doing almost everything while you watch TV or play on your phone. Then when I'm finally done, you want me to give you a foot rub—great. Trust me. I understand how strenuous your job is. I know you are on your feet all day and lots of heavy lifting and fixing machines must be very tiring. Yet, I am also on my feet all day. Maybe not sweating and doing hard labour, but still on my feet.

Now I do love my husband and I love that we're married and have been together. My life is great and I love sharing it with him, but however much I tell him that he needs to help more, I feel like he helps less. Should I just accept it and move on? I know I wasn't put in this world to pick up after another, especially my husband. Five years ago I would have never expected this outcome for my life, let alone have a husband like this.

Love sure does change people.