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Maybe They're Right... You Should Always Date Your Best Friend

But you're unsure about following Demi Lovato's advice and ruining the friendship.

By Anita DrinkPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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My Forever Wedding Date

These two people in this picture are not dating. They may look good together but they have never had a romantic relationship. The body language in this picture is comfortable and effortless. Feelings are not shared though. (So far as I know.) Just care and friendship.

Here lies my shameless heart as it falls for this man over and over again. What you see above is a picture of two humans who are each other's person. We are support systems for each other. The phrase "best friend" does not begin to cover this, though I really should stop referring to him as my brother either. That can't be healthy. He is the one man that I want to hold onto forever in my lifetime. But there's nothing romantic going on. We have barely shared embraces as he is not a touchy person.

It's almost as if I have a gay best friend without the gay part. We shop together, we adventure together; he is a part of my family. The most that has ever happened between us was snuggling while watching a movie. My head was on his shoulder. We are not dating. He is my best friend and we are not ruining the friendship. So what if he's the perfect person for me? What if I can't find anyone better? My problem is comparing every guy I meet to him. My exes have nothing on him. That makes me laugh hysterically. He cares about me and understands me so why can't I find anyone like that?

Finding myself going through an awful breakup at the end of last year, I have reevaluated most of my friendships and relationships with other people. I am a giver. Making people happy is the one thing that fuels me in my life. So while I think about all that I have done for other people, I find that so many of them just take from me. And the advice that my friends do give me when I am downtrodden and sad: "You need to find someone that is just like your best friend or you could just suck it up and date him." If only it were that simple.

I'm not even really sure why we are so close and that is the funniest part. He is a part of my family and does just about everything with us. Heck, my mother doesn't even think it is a big deal when he sleeps over at our house. He's just another family member. The picture above is when I took him as my date to my female best friend's wedding. We had an absolute blast and I wouldn't imagine bringing anyone else. My family went, and we all shared a hotel room. He even came up with my family to the wedding because I had to be in the area days before. This is effortless.

I find myself starting to compare the guys that I meet to my best friend. Do they make me laugh? Are they adventurous and daring? Do they share the same wanderlust that I do? These questions are constantly on my mind when I meet someone new. He isn't even an ex-boyfriend of mine yet I am only comparing to him. I have so many pictures and memories with him. I don't think about all of it. I just go.

Don't worry. I've brought up our flirtatiousness once before. It was immediately shut down and I was told to never bring it up again. I wonder why it is such a crazy thing to think about in his mind. His is the only one I wish I could see into. I would have so many answers. Both of us aren't really good with our emotions or expressing them. But when you're that comfortable with another human, the natural thing is to think about connecting in other ways.

I don't know how to move forward. Do I ruin the friendship? Or love our dysfunctionality? I've got him for life and I want it to stay that way.

friendship
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