Me Too and Time's Up
What It Is and What It's Not
I was sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend, so I understand what people are going through. I was lucky because my assailant wasn't a boss or someone I needed in my life. He also wasn't someone who could fire me, get me fired, or get me kicked out of school. There was nothing bad he could do because I hid from him and he blocked me on social media. He thought I wronged him. In sexual assault or misconduct cases, "lucky" or "fine" are relative terms. I recently ran into someone who made fun of the Me Too movement because he didn't believe most of the stories. A low percentage of stories are made up. Because of people who don't believe the stories and the fact that sexual misconduct actually happens, the Me Too movement became popular in 2017. After the popularity of the me too hashtag rose, the Time's Up movement was created.
The Me Too movement was created around 2006 before hashtagging was a thing. Tarana Burke created it because she heard a young woman's story of rape or sexual assault and she couldn't even say the words "me too." The movement rose in popularity and the hashtag was created after Harvey Weinstein was accused of sexual misconduct and the proverbial flood gates opened. Then, on new years day, 2018, the Time's Up movement was started ahead of the award season. The difference between the two movements is that the Me Too movement is to encourage the sharing of stories and, of course, we all would hope the stories are true. The Time's Up movement is to tell those who do the misconduct that time is up and we will not tolerate this behavior anymore. Accountability, honesty, and support are the most important things in situations like this.
These movements are not for people who want fame, attention, or to ruin people's lives or reputations. The fakes are sometimes easy to spot, like most liars are. Some people who have gone through this don't always share every detail, so that's not a good way of knowing who's telling a lie. There are also similar stories out there and, again, that's not a good way to pick out a liar.
So what do we do when people tell their story? We support them and we can ask respectful questions. Sometimes questions like "what were you wearing?" or "were you drunk?" make survivors go crazy. What I'm wearing or my intoxication shouldn't matter. Just because you can see my thighs or cleavage doesn't mean I want you to touch them or that I want sex—sometimes the weather calls for less clothes. Someone also doesn't want you to touch or do stuff to them because they may be tipsy and frisky or flirty. My fiancé has one rule when it comes to sexual activity and alcohol: If I'm drunk or tipsy, he will not touch me or do anything sexual with me. That's an awesome rule. It keeps things on the up and up.
It's all about consent and speaking up for ourselves. Consent is informed agreement. No means no, "get the hell off me" means no. Only sober, informed consent counts. I say informed sober consent or agreement because people need to know what is going to happen before they can agree to it. People should also be in the right state of mind before they can agree to it. "Yes," "sure," "of course," and "why not," all count! Be safe out there! Also, look out for each other. If you see something, say something.
About the Creator
Lena Bailey
Georgia born writer. Specializing in dating and true crime
If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]
Keep reading
More stories from Lena Bailey and writers in Humans and other communities.
Dating Older
I sometimes date men who were 10+ years older than me. My ex-fiancé actually told me that his dating age range was four years older or younger, but when I messaged him, he threw it out of the window. He was really surprised by me, but he was also happy that he loosened up his age guidelines. He was only 7 years older than me. I don't know if I will end up in an age gap relationship, but I would be open to it.
By Lena Bailey5 years ago in Humans
The Enigmatic Life of Lin Gengbai: Poet, Revolutionary, and Seer
Lin Gengbai, a poet from the Southern Society, was born in Minhou, Fujian. He studied in Beijing at the age of eight and was passionate about politics throughout his life. He once joined the Beijing-Tianjin Alliance and had the ambition to clarify the world. In the first year of the Republic of China, Lin Gengbai founded the "Yellow Flower and Blue Blood Society" with Chen Lesheng and others in Shanghai, with the urgent task of assassinating the remnants of the imperial system. After the failure of the "Second Revolution", he rose and fell. He first served as the secretary of the Senate and once acted as the acting secretary-general. He was only 22 years old. Although he was successful in his youth, he was melancholy. Soon he became angry and wrote poetry under the guidance of Chen Shiyi, a teacher of the "Jiangxi Poetry School". He was talented and innovative, and many people called him Li Yishan. Later, he was known as the "Chinese Poet of the Generation". He was not tall, with fair skin, clear eyebrows, and a high nose bridge, and had a bit of a foreigner's appearance. He claimed, " Cao Juren gave a speech at the Nan She Ya Ji, talking about the relationship between Nan She and the Xinhai Revolution. He believed that the Xinhai Revolution was a political movement with a strong romantic atmosphere, and Nan She's poetry and prose were the atmosphere of Gong Zizhen. Lin Gengbai was the living Gong Zizhen. Liu Yazi nodded in agreement, but Lin Gengbai was very unhappy: "I don't even have Li and Du in my mind, let alone Gong Dingan. Cao's being Gong Dingan is too shallow of me." At that time, people naturally referred to him as a poetry fanatic. Liu Yazi had been friends with him for more than 30 years, and Liu Yazi, who had high eyes, commented: "Gengbai's poetry is idealistic and charming, and although I am still ashamed, I am not as good as him. Are contemporary people who cling to their shortcomings worth a bite of their sword?"
By Beck_Moulton5 days ago in Humans
Was I a Model in Japan?
During my time in Nagoya I worked and lived at the strangely famous hostel and café Nagonoya. With its chequered floors and florescent lighting it felt quite dated, but I think that was supposed to be part of the charm. The dorms were always fully booked on weekends with domestic tourists and there was always a buzz in the downstairs café. Camera crews were constantly in and out of the place interviewing the Japanese staff members who worked the café. I think it had something to do with the egg sandwiches. At least that was what was on most of the merchandise, except for that one dishcloth with the owner’s face on it. Was I being employed by a local celebrity?
By Susanna Kiernan6 days ago in Wander
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.