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Meeting on Tinder...

Tinder dating can be hard...

By Georgina NorrisPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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So, as of 2014, according to Ggoogle, around 50 million people across the world are using Tinder.

If we narrow that down to my small 30-mile radius within the north of the UK, it’s not that many people. Although on Tinder you can immediately see someone’s face, it is in some way anonymous.

I met my ex-boyfriend on Tinder. We were together for six months. It was a relatively happy relationship, we saw each other two or three times a week. But at the same time, I felt like I didn’t know him.

Tinder reveals very little about a person. If you met your other half in real life for the first time, you could say you were lucky. There’s so much more you can learn about a person when you have met for the first time in real life. Their height, their smell, the way they hold themselves. Whether or not they can hold your gaze, and there’s so much more they can learn about you. They immediately see the real person, not the selfie-taking in good lighting with filters on person.

As much as I hate to say it, I agreed to get in a relationship with this guy off Tinder because I liked the attention. Our first Tinder date was literally almost blind. I’d seen three pictures of him—he was a firefighter, he had his own house, and he could drive. I hadn’t bothered to research him on social media because we’d matched on Tinder... He fancied me, I fancied him. I guess you could say I was naive, I was 20 at the time and craving love.

I think “Tinder success stories” work in the same way. Without making sweeping generalizations, a lot of girls who use the app get a little thrill when they match with an attractive man. But how much does a “match” mean?

After discussing it with my then-boyfriend, it turned out he just swiped right on everyone he saw, then filtered out the ones he didn’t fancy. I was devastated. I was angry that him matching me meant nothing. I almost felt like our entire relationship was built on a scam.

After that revelation I don’t think I felt quite the same, I felt as though I was just “a lucky one” who made it through his “filter.” That’s why Tinder relationships can’t always be successful. They’re shallow—let’s be honest ladies, if you met on Tinder they literally liked you because of your face or your body, not because of your intelligence or your wit.

Who am I kidding, I still use the damn thing because I get dates and if I’m lucky, free food and drinks. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to invest in a serious relationship that has spawned from it.

Know your worth, and invest your time and love in a man who met you in real life, because then he likes you for the REAL you, and not your online persona.

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