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My 3 Months Dating a Narcissistic Psychopath

My First-hand Account on What It's Like to Date a Narcissist

By Leelee RochellePublished 6 years ago 7 min read
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(Please note: since these incidents, I have looked up, and researched, narcissism and gaslighting. He fit almost every detail of them. Plus, I have since deleted his texts so the following incidents are purely from memory.)

Noah and I met, and started chatting, on Facebook April 22, 2 days before my 30th birthday. I work with his mother, whom I absolutely adore, so I figured "why not?" The first couple weeks were great. I was working on my birthday, he brought me flowers, and would randomly (maybe 3 times out of the 3 months) brought me lunch that he made (he was a pretty good cook), and I honestly felt that he was the one for me. He was perfect in every way in my eyes.

Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend.

I was at the campsite with my family when Noah texted me that he got in a car accident and asked me if I could call his mom and tell her. I said sure. Later that day, I texted him telling him that I was going to run home and grab some things, and asked if he wanted anything. He said that I could go give him a hug because he really needed one. I said, "Sure, just let me shower first." When I got home, he sent me a message telling me how he was going to drink until he fell asleep, so I thought that meant he was GOING to go to sleep, so I told him I would just head back to the camper then.

Instead of telling me that I was mistaken, or that it wasn't what he meant, he proceeded to belittle me for at least an hour, telling me "why are we together? I got in a car accident and you can't even come give me a hug?!" I, of course, apologized and told him what I thought he meant, yet he still continued to yell at me (through text) and tell me that "I must not really care for him if I was in town and couldn't stop by to hug him!"

It only got better from there... Not.

I'm going to skip over the second incident. It's rather personal but it ends in him telling me "maybe we just aren't meant to be together" and my, of course, constant apologizing. (Stay tuned, you'll start to see a trend).

Third incident, early July.

I invited him to go to the zoo with my daughter (I'll call her L) and I, thinking it'll be a nice day out for the 3 of us before L and I go see the fireworks with my parents. I honestly didn't think anything went wrong that day, as he didn't seem out of sorts or anything.

He drops us off and tells me he going to go home and take a nap. I sent him a text later saying how I wish he could come to the fireworks with us and he says, "Why are you just telling me this now?" (Honestly, I didn't think of it before). Then he started in on, "I honestly didn't enjoy today. It was more of like a Mommy and L day and I was just there in the background. What, did you need a ride? Is that why you invited me along? Just so someone could take you?" More insults, more apologizing.

Now, in between all the insults and belittling, he would send me texts with the purpose of making me feel bad for picking other activities over him. At one point, I was at the camper with my family and he sent me, "It sucks that you are stuck there with your family instead of hanging out with your awesome boyfriend." Narcissism involves holding yourself at a higher standard than other people, he clearly thought that he was more important than my family.

The last straw was late July, the 30th I believe.

He came to take L and I for ice cream. Now, across the street lives one of L's classmates, and next door a boy who is a year or 2 younger than them. They were putting small article in the road (nothing that could harm anything) but I guess it was a huge deal to Noah. He got out of the car, threw the sticks aside, got back in and, in front of L, audibly mumbled "f***in dumba** kids." Mind you, the boys are like 5 and 6 years old. I didn't say much of anything as to avoid arguing in front of L.

We finish our ice cream and, as he driving us back, asks if we want to go anywhere else. L wanted to go on a Pokémon walk around our usual route, so I agree. This, apparently, bothers Noah, as the rest of the way back he kept up a string of complaints about how "I always let her decide what to do" and how "I never want to do anything or go anywhere new." I just told him to drop us off at home, L and I can go by ourselves.

The next day, July 31, I didn't really text him. Around 6ish, I get a text from him asking if things were ok. I said that I wasn't sure and I needed some time to think. He asked me, "Did you want to be alone while you think?" And I said yes, I did thinking I'll take a day or 2 to reassess my thoughts.

Guess that wasn't good enough for him because the next morning around 8, while I was getting L off to school so I could make it to my dentist appointment on time, he texts me complaining about how I didn't text him at all and "I'll make things easier for you. Goodbye." I sent him "goodbye" back and that created an onslaught of criticism. He asked me, "What? Aren't you going to give me a reason?" And, when I told him the reason, about what he said about L's friends right in front of her and how I feel I have to walk on eggshells around him, he sends me back "leave me alone, I don't want to hear it."

That went on for about another hour, with him telling me how horrible of a girlfriend I was, telling me to "f**k off," bringing up everything he deemed "wrong" that I did in our relationship, and, at one point, telling me "If you would just do sh*t right all the time, I wouldn't have to get mad at you!" Honestly, before him, I didn't even know there was a "wrong" way to kiss your boyfriend in public. Needless to say, I felt "amazing" after he was done... Not.

Cue 12 hours later, around 9pm. After not hearing from him all day, I open my phone to a text from him, telling me how he "respects my decision about not wanting to be together anymore" and how "he didn't just lose his woman, he lost his best friend." Complete and total 180 from how he was in the morning. Needless to say, no words were said back to him.

The morning of September 20, I came across a friend I graduated with. I'll call him R. Since school, R and I have seen each other in passing, exchanging the occasional "hello" and, at one point, him complimenting my hair. We found each other on Facebook and, after chatting for a bit, decided to add each other. (Mind you, he was also friends with Noah). 8:02pm rolls around that night, and I get a text out of nowhere that Noah suddenly wants to become "friends," claiming that "he still sees things that make him laugh and think of me, and he's really wondering if we could ever become friends in the future." He finishes up the text with "I know this is completely random." Fearing the inevitable, I don't answer. The next day, he unfriends R. Come to find out, he's also harassing R, threatening to call the cops on bogus charges (that never happened) and wanting to fight him. All over him adding me on Facebook. We put 2 and 2 together and our realization was that Noah wanted to "be my friend" because, in his mind, I'm still "his property" and he wants to keep tabs on me to make sure I don't end up with anyone else.

It's been almost a month now, I asked R and Noah seems to have backed off so I'm hoping that was the end of it but, with his temper and thinking he owns me, I guess I can't quite put my guard down yet.

breakups
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About the Creator

Leelee Rochelle

I'm a single mother who just wants to write stories to help people.

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