My Last Love Letter

It marks a year since the last time we spoke or seen one another. Even though time has passed and I have a better understanding of why you walked away from the friendship, the pain of that moment still remains.

I want you to know that I don't think badly of you. You were a part of some of the happiest moments of my life and we created some of the best memories. No matter what came our way we were always there and always believed in one another.

However, our time apart has also given me the opportunity to reflect on where things began to crumble and see the friendship for what it truly was. Senior year became so significant for us, and we agreed to spend as much quality time as we could. Yet, as time passed and we spent more time together, we began to discover qualities that made us incompatible. The big picture was, we were naturally growing apart, but trying so hard to force the friendship to continue. I think we both knew in the back of our minds we were going to come to an end. You just happened to be the one who had more sense to know when to stop it then I did.

I can't deny that I was hurt and angry with you for a very long time. The day you turned your back on the friendship was a betrayal of trust and I had the most difficulty overcoming that. Until one day I finally realized that I was tired of being angry with you, and that was energy I could put towards more important things. I soon discovered that during the course of our friendship I lost a part of who I was. We became very close and I put so much effort into trying to make things work, trying to be the better friend you wanted me to be, trying to find a way for us to be happy again, that when I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize myself anymore. My time away from you was the perfect opportunity to reacquaint myself with "the real me" and love myself all over again.

That doesn't mean I place any of the blame on you. I had to learn to forgive myself for trying to make you be the friend I needed when you were simply incapable of being that for me. I had to learn to accept you for who you were, but that couldn't happen until I found myself again.

Now, I'm grateful for the decision you made. That doesn't dismiss the fact that I do miss you. I want to thank you for teaching me what a true friendship entails, and that neither one of us need to sacrifice who we are in order to make it work. I apologize and take full responsibility for the mistakes I made and the hurt I caused you. Also, there's no need for an apology. I have already forgiven you. I still think of you as a great person, and I hope you continue to grow and excel in life whether I am there or not.

Even though I am not quite in a place where I am ready to call you my friend again, I am open to seeing you in the future and optimistic we have the potential to reach a point where we can hang out together again. However, that day will have to come naturally and in its own time. Until then, I continue to wish you nothing more, but the best. I'm grateful for the lessons we shared and will never regret that I was once able to call you my friend.