My Nightmare (Pt. 3)

It's amazing how it takes one person to completely change your dreams; sometimes for the better, other times for the worse.

Shortly after John returned from his trip we went house hunting. Our taste in houses and the features we wanted was so similar that it made it even more enjoyable. We both dreamt of this beautiful log-style home with plenty of property of our own, away from the world, and it's exactly what we got.

Months passed and we spoke of marriage and even starting our own little family. Creating a life together would be the cherry-on-top of this perfect dream. Except most dreams tend to be rudely interrupted by reality...

"John, please take a second to think this over."

"Think what over? Huh?! Think of all the things you do that go against everything I believe in?"

"John, just breathe. You're making this worse than it is. Am I not allowed to live my life because you see things differently than I do?"

"You listen here," The emotion in his eyes were gone, "What you do is your problem, but if you go against me then there's no going back. You got that?!"

"Are you threatening me?!"

"Take it how you will, but I will not have my wife doing things I do not approve of." He growled at me.

"Excuse me? How is me living my life and doing what I enjoy a problem?!"

"You're right. That's not the problem, you are." He said as he slammed our front door in my face. I was lost for words. My heart ached at the thought that everything was falling apart. Yet, it all seemed too familiar.

Was I really the issue? This is how it started. I knew it all too well. The bickering, the disagreements, the anger. This is how it began. First it's small arguments, then its constant disagreements, then name-calling, then it gets physical. Was I ready to relive my nightmare with yet another man I saw a potential future with?

I stood there, frozen in my own thoughts. This house never felt as big as it did this moment. I was alone and feared that this dream John and I had built would soon crumble under our feet.

Hours passed before John returned. I had enough time to cool off and I sat waiting for him on the couch. As I heard his keys turning in the doorknob, my heart felt heavy and my stomach clenched up. The speech I had prepared earlier in the day suddenly vanished from my mind.

"We need to talk." He said as soon as he saw me waiting for him. Those are the four words one never wants to hear. Nothing good ever comes from them.

"Yeah, sure. I think that's a good idea." I whispered, barely getting the words to come out.

He sat across the room as if sitting next to me was almost unbearable. I felt the lump in my throat get bigger. It must have been only a few minutes before he said anything, but to me it felt like eternity having him look at me with those empty eyes.

"You are not how I imagined my future wife to be." He said as he looked me straight in the eyes.

For that moment I stopped breathing, my mind stopped working, and my heart didn't know if it should continue beating.

"What..." I struggled to talk. I couldn't find a way to make myself function, "What... Um... What do you mean?" I faintly heard myself say. This was it, that numb feeling I had felt once before. That out-of-body experience where my mind just goes on auto-pilot; I felt myself go blank.