My Personal Experience with a Cheater

Does true love actually exist? Who decides when we find our true love? Is everybody’s fate different, or do we all follow the same path? These are questions that flooded my mind after the heartbreak that I struggled to endure. People are very quick to decide whether a relationship will last, and they choose to see your happiness through a particular lens; usually depending on how jealous they are. This is my story about heartache and learning to ignore what people thought about me, to focus on my own hopes and the current man of my dreams.

I met my former boyfriend around two years ago. We met on a night out and had already met at school a few years earlier. We hit it off straight away and there was an instant spark between us; both the comical ones of our friends, and each very chilled out. He was my first love, and I for him. Everyone told me that we wouldn’t last, but I never believed them because my eyes were blinded by affection. We got along so well, and everything seemed surreal at first.

However, around five months down the line, things started to go downhill, and we never understood each other; our feelings, our thoughts, and eventually, I started to resent him. He turned sour and made me feel like we didn’t belong together. But he was my love and I was never a quitter. This slowly started to break me and it became a chore to spend any time with him. I stuck it out for a further few weeks and then we ended up going our separate ways. I tried so hard to move on after this, but no one was ever enough for a relationship. They didn’t understand me and my flaws, and after two months, it came out that he had cheated on me during the relationship.

My whole world fell apart, I could see the walls of my heart crumbling around me. Nobody understood the heartbreak that I was going through, and when trying to move on, it became difficult to approach another man without getting upset or having horrible feelings flooding back. I never had the chance to let it all sink in and was expected to get on with my life as normal, but I couldn’t; the thought of him alternating between the two of us girls, and both him and her knowing that I was sitting at home wondering why my boyfriend wouldn’t sit with me and watch a movie was devastating. After this, I started to not trust people around me, I would think my friends and family were lying to me when they would say they were busy or that they loved and appreciated me. It made me feel lonely and a lot more particular when it came to the people I trusted.

It felt like I had only made a drop in the ocean for him, he couldn’t even admit it when I confronted him. He showed no remorse. No heartache. But most of all, showed no love towards me or the way I felt. I wondered for weeks what I had done so wrong, that he could drop me like a worthless pin, like I was useless to him now. I lost a lot of self-worth and felt like I was battling with my own thoughts and fears.

“You must be feeling terrible.”

“I bet he doesn’t feel that bad about cheating on you,” they said.

This did not make me feel any better and I felt like I had no one to turn to. I started to think if there was any point in finding someone else to love in case everyone was the same and I was never going to be enough for someone without them finding someone prettier, funnier and more delightful than me.

Twelve months later, I was open to love again. Me and the most wonderful guy found each other and we also felt sparks flying immediately. I didn’t want to mess this up and knew it was love at first sight, but I needed to learn how to love myself before taking on loving somebody else. I started to reach out to my family, friends, and more people around me. I started exercising more and looking for opportunities to look in the mirror and tell myself that I look beautiful on that particular day. Sure, other people can look at your relationship with a partner through whatever lens they choose, however they almost always fail to see your relationship with yourself; which is the most important one. During this time, I grew to love this other person, as well as growing to love myself.

We have now been together for six months, and I could not be happier. There is not a toxic bone in his body and he treats me the way that I am supposed to be treated. I cannot put into words how much I love this man, he has completely changed my life and made me into the person that I am today. He reminds me every day that I am special, one of a kind, and the love of his life.

This is for all those women out there who have lost touch with who they are, their sexy side, and their love life. I can promise you that no matter how many times you say to yourself, “I will never love anyone as much as I loved him,” believe me that there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel for you. You are worthy of whatever you believe for yourself; but you must have a growth mindset to do so.