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My Prince Of...Garbage?

Follow along on the date of the century involving a woman with extreme social anxiety and a man who has an ego of garbage—a perfect match for his job.

By Zellie WickerPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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"How about this taco place?"

"I'm vegetarian. Do they have options for that?"

"I'm sure they do :)."

"Alright, sounds good!"

Little did I know those final three words would lead to one of the most memorable dates I have ever had...and not for any good reasons.

The following day I pulled up to the restaurant in my car, praying that their menu was more comprehensive than what I found online the night before (there were VERY limited vegetarian options). I didn't want to leave my car until I saw someone that resembled the picture I swiped right on approach the restaurant. Luckily, I did not have to wait too long.

I got out of my car and started walking towards the restaurant and the person I didn't believe had swiped right on me. I called out, asking to confirm that it was the same person, which he responded to in the affirmative.

'So far, so good,' I thought to myself.

I went up to him and the awkward part of first dates began. We stood outside the entrance to the restaurant until I asked if we should go in. After we went in, he stopped just after the door. That was normal for that type of restaurant, as the menu was above the cashier, so I did not question it. I scanned the menu, trying to find anything other than a smoothie that I could have (not because I don't like smoothies, but because it was lunch and I wanted more than a smoothie).

He quickly looked at me and told me he had an idea. We went back outside, and I thought he meant we would go to a different restaurant to eat. Apparently, my hopes were too high. Instead, the conversation roughly went like this:

"So, I have an idea."

"Okay."

"I have a package coming today of a desk. What if we go back to my place and I can make lunch so that I ensure I'm home when the package arrives?"

Looking back, this was the moment I should have run. Unfortunately, past me still had hope for humanity—no matter how small that hope was. I agreed, and so I followed him to his house. No, this date did not turn into one of those typical Tinder "dates" where it's actually a hook-up. This date turned out so much worse.

When we got to his place, he made lunch. 'Okay, that works,' I thought to myself. I wasn't sure how this was going to go down, but apparently, his ego was on the line. It wasn't the best meal, honestly. Actually, it wasn't very good at all. He didn't know how to make food for a vegetarian and kept making demeaning remarks about how I was a vegetarian. He kept asking if it was good, and me, being the typical mid-westerner I am, nodded. He said "Good. Because I wouldn't have accepted any other answer."

Trying to get the conversation off of his ego, I asked what he did for a living. He said he went to school, which prompted the next obvious question: "What do you go to school for?"

"Anxiety."

It was not the answer I was expecting, because whenever anyone has asked me or someone I know that question, we have responded with our majors. Are school and higher education stressful and anxiety-inducing? No doubt about it. Is that a proper response to the question? Probably not.

I then asked what he did for work, and he said he was a garbage man. Don't get me wrong, I fully appreciate garbage men and women of the world. They do a job that I don't think I would ever be able to do and get practically no recognition. I fully respect them as people...unless they're this person.

Anyways, after those awkward and confusing statements, we headed into his room where he brought in the box he received from IKEA. I looked at the box, thinking to myself 'Is this really what's going to happen?' I had been on some awkward dates before, but nothing compared to this. For the next four hours, we hung out in his room. Well, that's an overstatement. More of, I hung out on his floor while he decided to build a desk. He didn't ask for help (even though I have experience with set building and am actually capable of reading instructions, which he was not), but instead just left me to watch him struggle with his desk, all the while he talked to his roommate. He even told me that he planned the date to go that way; in other words—he planned to have me bored out of my mind, watching him attempt to put together a desk.

Eventually his roommate told him that I was probably incredibly bored. I nodded in agreement. At that point, my date paused, looked around uncomfortably, and then asked if I wanted to go somewhere else. Obviously, I did, so we hopped in his car and started driving.

I thought we would go to the nearby mall, but if the first part of this story told you anything about this guy, that clearly didn't happen. Instead, we just drove around in his car. He didn't know geography, or that he lived incredibly close to the neighboring city, even though he was several years older than me. He wanted to see the city I lived in, so we drove two blocks and was in the city. Surprise! He didn't believe me. Well, he didn't believe me right away, that is.

When he did finally believe me, he suggested that we go back to my place and watch television. Why? "To get the mood going." I wasn't going to let that happen. Not only because I was sick of this dimwit, but also because I was only home for a few weeks and staying with my parents. I ignored the comment and let him continue driving. Eventually, he asked me where we were going, which slightly confused me, since he was the one that was driving. I asked where he wanted to go, and he said back to my place. I said no and laughed at the absurd notion that I would let him know where I lived, so then guess where he decided to go? Back to his house!

If you haven't guessed yet, he went back to building his desk. While doing that, he continued to say many absurd, ignorant, and insulting statements. The anger was rising in my voice, which he then laughed off by saying, "I know this bothers you—that's why I do it!"

I was steadily becoming more and more agitated with this individual. My logic may be flawed, but if someone gets frustrated with you talking about a certain subject, shouldn't that subject be avoided? Not only that, but shouldn't that subject be avoided at all costs on a FIRST date?

I left that date, several hours later (one of the problems of living with social anxiety include feeling unable to leave certain situations, even if that's all I want to do), with him saying "So...when do you want to go on another date?" I stared at him, unsure of how to reply.

I started walking towards my car and said, "I'll text you." I'm pretty sure his roommate knew the second he saw the desk being built that this young individual was not going to get a second date.

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About the Creator

Zellie Wicker

Mental health advocate

Wannabe writer and photographer

Cat-mom

Instagram-obsessed

Just trying to make it through this thing called "adulting."

Open to messages, just send them to [email protected]

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