My Romance

I have never been one to believe in love, never liked the idea of depending on someone else, however that doesn't mean because I didn't like the idea of relationships doesn't mean I was a virgin. For me, relationships were all about fun, friends with benefits was as serious as I got about a person. But it had been a while since I had had sex so one drunken night I signed up to Tinder. I had absolutely no clue how to use it and so in my drunken state I began to swipe, not entirely sure whether I knew the right was to swipe but I gave it ago. The next morning I woke up to many notifications on my phone from matches and messages I received, however since I was sober I had no courage to message anyone back. About two weeks went by and I had continued to swipe yet had not gained the courage to reply to a message. Then one day I told myself to stop being such a baby, I had signed up to Tinder to meet someone who I could have fun with and I would never meet them if I didn't reply, so I told myself the next person to message me I would reply. So I waited for the notification to say I had a message and so it did and I made myself reply, nothing too much just a simple "hey". And so that "hey" began the best year of my life. The lad that I started to message, let's call him Tom, he was the sweetest person I had ever spoken to. He always asked me about myself, he listened to me when I needed someone to talk to but the problem was he said (from the beginning) that he only did serious relationships and I had never had one before. But we carried on speaking and after a few weeks of messages we decided to meet up. Now the problem here was he lived about 3 hours away on the train and so it would have been a lot for him to come down for a few hours and then go home, so I asked my mum and she agreed he could stay at my house for a few days while I got to know him. Now I'm quite an awkward person especially around new people, so as I walked to the train station to meet him I was so nervous. I had a million thoughts running round my head, I was sweating and I couldn't speak, but as I walk up to the station I see this gorgeous man standing waiting for me and I no longer felt nervous. He made me feel so comfortable around him right from the beginning so that there was no awkward silence. And so that night we had our first kiss, we were sat on my bed watching The Walking Dead and he just cupped my face in his hands and kisses me, it was slow and beautiful and it gave me butterflies. And that night I lay in his arms and I felt so happy. Now we didn't have sex the first time he came to visit because he didn't want me to think that that was all he was after so he made me wait. Then it became a regular thing for him to come down every week for 2 nights, and quickly our relationship became serious. Within six months he had moved in with me and my mum, and a couple of months after that we got a puppy together. Everything seemed to be going amazing; yes we argued but we always worked it out, when it came down to it he was the man I loved and I would have done anything for him. We decided that we wanted to live alone and to test run it we went on holiday for two weeks to see if we could manage and it was perfect. A holiday full of sun and love, we had so much time together but the perfection didn't last. Not long after we got back of holiday I came across some messages from another girl (he had used my phone for Facebook and it switched accounts all the time), so I'm sat there on my couch thinking I don't know this girl, why is she messaging me. Turns out Tom's Facebook had switched accounts and it was his messages. So I did what anyone else would do in that situation and I read everything and sobbed my heart out. How could my perfect boyfriend who I was so in love with be cheating on me? And so that day when he came home I asked him and his answer was "he forgot about it", yeah like that's possible, but I asked him was there anyone else he said "no", and so a few horrible weeks passed and I started to forgive him. I mean after all he hadn't actually slept with her. So we carry on like we were before hand, planning things together buying presents as it was both our birthdays and our one year anniversary coming up. Tom's birthday is first and I thought I would spoil him, buy him something he really wants and so I bought the Nintendo Switch with a case and games and other items to go with it, he got spoilt. About a few after his birthday I found out he had cheated again, however this one wasn't the original girl, this girl was before the one I had found out about. And so we broke up but this wasn't something that I wanted to happen. I wanted to work through it after all I had given him a year of my life but more importantly he was the love of my life. He made me feel special and loved but at the same time he made me feel like I wasn't good enough. And so here I am writing out this story of my life on my anniversary and wondering how to get my boy back because even though he cheated he still is and always will be the love of my life.