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My Worst Date Story: The One Where His Cousin Almost Beat Me Up

This is the horror story of how my night went from celebrating my boyfriend's birthday to being attacked by his own family.

Don't worry, there is a bit of a happy ending to this horror story. And though it's not completely filled with lighthearted funny moments, I find that discovering the humor in this scenario to be extremely therapeutic. Plus, there are a few hilarious visuals that my friends and I still laugh about today. 

Imagine getting ready to go out with your boyfriend to celebrate his 22nd birthday to wind up being screamed at, threatened, and... well, you'll have to keep reading to find out. 

To begin #MyWorstDate story I want to explain that this wasn’t exactly a date, but more of a weekend outing with my boyfriend at the time. Though first dates always seem to be the scenario when it comes to date horror stories, this one happened to be with the man that I was dating for almost a year at the time. It also happened to be the night that we were celebrating his 22nd birthday.

To set the scene, and explain the dynamic between my boyfriend and I; I need to educate you on a few things prior to this day. We had recently rekindled our relationship and gotten back together after a month apart. Our relationship was hanging by a very weak thread, and I was exhausted mentally, as I’m sure he was.

We were basically faking it until we made it, though we never did. But ultimately, the dynamic between us was unstable. 

Anyway, we decided to go to our college’s bar for a night out to celebrate his birthday, like I previously said. We had plans to meet up with a few of his friends from high school. This is important to keep in mind, because the night was about him, so I didn’t invite any of my girlfriends along.

We got to the bar with no trouble, I bought a drink for him and for myself. I saw a few people I knew from class so I decided to say hi to them. After some small talk, I turned around to the sea of people to find that my 6’4" boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, which is particularly hard to do.

Completely sober at the time, this frustrated me, so I turned right back around and ordered a Trash Can, something a lightweight like myself should not have done, especially on an empty stomach.

I decided to cling to the classmates that were nearby for a minute, while I peered around the contents of the bar constantly, searching for the birthday boy. After a decent amount of time, and both of my drinks finished, I decided it was time to blindly walk around the bar in search of him.

I resorted to looking in the back room of the bar, a place where most people avoided besides pool fanatics, and found him standing with his cousin and a few of her girlfriends. 

Okay, time for a bit more backstory. I had always known that his cousin did not like me. I wasn't oblivious. She went to the same college as us, always invited him to do things with her and her friends without me, never reached out to me in any way since we had been dating, and was just outright rude to me when I finally met her when we went to her house for Easter.

So basically, there was unspoken tension between us at all times, and she constantly would glare at me when I saw her without my boyfriend on campus. It was the most bizarre thing in the world, and still to this day I am convinced that she was more territorial over him than a girl who is madly in love. Or maybe she was, who knows.

Anyway, with a bit of liquor courage, and reminding myself that we had come there together to celebrate, I decided to walk up to the group and give him a kiss, welcoming myself into their little circle. He and I talked a bit, and he could tell I was uncomfortable. Does he say or do anything to make me feel better? Of course not. These are some of the reasons why we are no longer together; but just wait! 

Instead, I got quiet, and his cousin’s friend ordered a round of shots for everyone except, you guessed it, yours truly. Not that I needed a shot at the time, because I certainly did not. But my boyfriend took the shot, and in turn, scooted me out of the circle while cheersing the rest of the group. 

That was really the last straw for me, and I just wanted to get out of there. If he wanted to spend his birthday with the people who make his own girlfriend feel horrible for no apparent reason, so be it.

I turned away from the group and made my way toward the door, as the alcohol encouraged tears to well in my eyes, because remember, my mental state was not the brightest at the time. I could hear an audible and frustrated sign come from my boyfriend, and I can guess that he starts his way after me. 

I turned to him and told him that he can enjoy his time with his friends, but that I felt uncomfortable because they clearly did not want me there, and that if he wasn’t going to do anything to try and include me, then it wasn’t worth my time to struggle to. Maybe a bit dramatic, but I really just wanted to get out of there. I was drained.

He followed me outside to talk a bit and things were actually starting to feel better between us for the first time in the night. We were going to go back in and restart the night.

However, the door to the bar opened up, and here comes his cousin. Yelling. Pointing fingers. And being a complete psychopath. 

“You’re really going to let her ruin your birthday like that? You’re really going to choose this slut over family? Really? Why are you letting her ruin your life?”

She steamed, in the most irritating voice imaginable.

Keep in mind, this was the most I had ever heard her speak, well, screech, as I had only ever said hello to her, and the rest of the time we had spent together involved her physically leaving the room. Or obviously glaring, pointing, and laughing at me while she had the power of her friends to make her feel good.

Meanwhile, all my boyfriend was doing was trying to shush her, backing away from me, and just simply not standing up for me. It seemed as if there was a dynamic between the two that I was unaware of, until then. 

Then, her friends began to file out of the bar to back her up. I began to cry, and tried to regain control over the situation by yelling back. But nothing made the situation any better. I was enraged, hurt, and felt completely helpless.

And to put the icing on the cake, she had been attending the school longer than I had, and had grown a friendship with the bar’s security guards. I’m sure you can guess where this is going. 

She had security remove me for "harassing her and her friends." And to make the “date” one of the worst you will ever hear, my boyfriend went back inside. He later said it was to say goodbye to his friends from high school. But I already had made up my mind about that being the last straw for us on my shameful walk home to my apartment (in the then pouring rain might I add.)

Unfortunately, my worst date story wasn’t too hilarious, besides the visual of the security guard escorting me away from the bar’s premises. That’s something my friends and I always have a great laugh about. But ultimately, my worst date story was my saving grace to escape the terrible relationship I was trying so desperately to save.

So in reality, it was one of the best experiences for me to have, because it was that final push I was stupidly waiting to receive.

And not that you asked, but today, almost a year to this date, I have never felt more strong, independent, and happy to be far, far away from that relationship, family, and person altogether.

Plus, I have a pretty great guy in my life to boot. It just goes to show that everyone goes through bad date experiences. But we should try our best to not be discouraged by them. Instead, we should welcome them. This way we know exactly what we've been waiting for when the right person comes around. 

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