My Worst Date: The Legend of Strum Strum

#MyWorstDate

My junior year of college, I was at a get-together when I started talking to this guy. We had been in classes together and we were the same major. He was 23, a super-senior (college for 5, not 4 years). He was pretty decent looking, charming, and very intelligent.

We were on the subject of movies, per me being an aspiring director. We were discussing good movies and movies we wanted to see. At the time, neither of us had seen the movie “Inglorious Bastards”. Now, that is my favorite Tarantino movie. We parted ways, not really thinking of anything coming of this simple conversation.

The next day, however, I was studying for my Medieval Lit. class when he walked up to me. His opening line? “I tried to find you on Facebook last night, but I had a hard time finding you.” My response: “that’s because you don’t know my last name....”. After inviting him to sit with me, we strike up conversation about classes and what I’m studying. Now, this is the kind of guy that is so wicked smart, literally anything you say just sounds stupid compared to him.

Somehow, we get back on the previous night’s subject of movies. He mentioned the above mentioned “Inglorious Bastards”. I think his exact wording (much out of character) was “I remember that we agreed that I’ve never seen Inglorious Bastards. You’ve never seen Inglorious Bastards. So I was wondering if you could watch it together sometime maybe.” In my young and unaware state of studying, I agree. His quick response was then, the ever typical, my place or your’s?

Ugh.

I, now have just unknowingly agreed to a date. After begging my roommates for SOMEONE to be home Incase I needed to escape, my best friend, and now matron-of-honor, begrudgingly said she would be home during the date. By the time the day actually came around, I was still very not in the mood. Sporting a ratty t-shirt and leggings, hair wet and combed from my shower, I sat on the green couch in the living room and played my guitar until he was to arrive.

He knocked on the door and I did not hear him, just strumming away. He knocks louder, and I opened the door. I apologize for not hearing and gesture to the guitar. His eloquent and intelligent response to this earned him his infamous nickname in my friend group: “ah. Playing the strum strum I see.”

*clears throat* Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Strum Strum.

I lead him inside. He makes a passing comment asking if I like his new shirt. When I answer with a very non-committed, “it’s nice” he informs me he bought it at a thrift shop on the way over. My first thought: were you not wearing clothes beforehand? After making an embarrassing and offensive impression of his Jewish roommate he asks if we coffee, so I lead him to the coffee selection. After commenting on how he can tell I like dark chocolate hot chocolate (because I had about 8 packets of that on the shelf) in an effort to try to sound suave and flirty, he decides on a coffee and we sit down.

As I stated before, neither of us had seen this movie before. I set everything up only to find out this damn movie is two hours and thirty minutes long! Oh well, I was in this for the long haul. Truthfully, the movie was the best part of the entire date (Seriously, if you’ve never seen it, watch it RIGHT NOW). We get to where there is about an hour and a half left in the film, and he has me pause it. “I don’t know about you, but I like to get up in the middle of watching a movie and stretch my legs.”

Um, have you ever been to a movie theater?

He discovers he missed two calls from his mother. He mentions this and proceeds to try and call her back. After this fails, he asks me to direct him to the bathroom, which was connected to the wall in the living room. I take our empty coffee cups and begin rinsing them out when I have to turn the water off. I heard a noise, coming from the bathroom. I kid you not, dude was singing in the bathroom as he did his business. Not just a casual hum, but a full-out performance. As he emerges, he commends me on the acoustics in my bathroom, something I mention I’ve never tested out before. According to him, recording songs in the bathroom is an “enlightening experience”.

Ok then.

At this point, I coax my roommate out of her room with the promise of instant ramen, and with the knowledge that she “does not want to be a part of that weirdness.” He remarks to her that he heard we had been roommates for a while. Three years. When he asked if we hate each other yet, she gives me a beautiful side-eye and says, “some days are better than others.” She retreats back upstairs, and we are alone once again. I resume the movie. “WAIT!” I jump. “We missed Michael Fassbender’s entrance!” So, I rewind two seconds to see him take one step into the room. “Awww yea! Man crush Monday, man crush everyday, amiright?”

*sigh* I am in hell.

The movie finishes. If you haven’t seen it, Hitler gets anihilated with hundreds of shots to the face with machine guns. As this goes on, homeboy looks at me, raises his hand and exclaims, “yea! Killing nazis!” And I give him a half-hearted high-five. It’s almost over and I can soon get him out of my house. Thank god. At some point, I started texting a friend of mine who lived in the same townhouse community. He offered to come get him out for me, however, I didn’t think a random guy walking into my apartment and telling Strum Strum to get lost would be very effective. So, I stuck it out.

The movie wraps up, and he immediately gets up to go to the bathroom again. After he performs another song (Bob Dylan, if I can recall correctly). As he walks out, he smiles and says, “I had a great time! We DEFINITELY need to do this again sometime!” My response was simply, “yea... maybe?” No. The answer was no. He was a nice guy, but weird. I thought I was the weird one. If anything this did wonders for my self-esteem. He gives me a final one arm over one arm under hug. The last disappointing point of this date: he didn’t even smell good! I was hoping that would be a redeeming quality. It wasn’t.

Then, he left.

That night, the group we were all part of at college (Shout-out to DiscipleMakers!) was having a guy’s night. Strum Strum was attending this shindig. Just your simple video games and pizza kind of night. The funniest part, however? The guys night rotated apartments and on this particular night, it was at my friend Zac’s apartment. Fast forward to now, Zac and I have been engaged since April and we are getting married in 7 months!!! I could not be happier with how everything turned out in the end! 😊✌🏻

As for Strum Strum, he never spoke to me again after our date. Who knows, maybe I am the weird one after all? 😂

#MyWorstDate