Naïve

Sweet. Innocent. Young. Naïve.

The perfect target.

She hadn’t gotten the chance to experience real love, but she knew what it felt like to really, really like someone. So you took your chance. You were charming, deceitful, older, and misleading. You knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. You knew you could catch her attention and you did. She didn’t know you, but she wanted to. You were mysterious, you seemed like a bad boy and all girls are suppose to go for the bad ones, right? Make them fall in love. All girls want to be the one that the bad boy changes for. But let’s be realistic, you weren’t looking to be changed. You just wanted to have a little fun. And I hope you got what you wanted because God knows she didn’t see what was coming. You opened your arms and provided her with what seemed like genuine affection. And with a tongue like a snake’s you lured her in with your smooth and fallacious words. She wasn’t sure how she felt, but she knew it was different and you were right there to convince her that these feelings were her love for you and that they were good. You spent enough time and effort on her to gain her trust and build up her feelings and then you stopped, only putting in enough to keep her around for when you wanted her. Even though you paid minimal attention to her when she wanted to talk but gave her your 100% anytime she offered herself to you, she still told herself that you loved her. You built her up when she doubted you, when she started to see you for who you really were you convinced her that she was wrong and that she was overthinking, or worrying too much and that she should be thankful for you. And when she’d agree, you’d let her fall back down. You made her light up and right when she thought she meant something to you, you blew out her light. You left her crying alone in her room on nights she questioned your feelings towards her. You left her feeling empty when she saw you touch and flirt with other girls. Of course you said they were just friends. She thought maybe she was doing something wrong, maybe she needed to try harder, maybe she needed to look prettier, maybe she needed to dress sexier. She gave you her everything, her mind, body, and soul. And you couldn’t even give her proper love after you were done using her. You had her begging and pleading for attention or acknowledgement. Anything to make her feel like she mattered. In the time it took you to gain her love, it took even longer for her to realize that you didn’t actually want her. Those words, “I love you,” meant nothing coming from you. Her first love was her first heartbreak. You used her, abused her, damaged her. And while she’s here clinging to the last bits of her heart that she has left, you are just fine. You got all the fun you wanted. You made her believe that you were the love she had been waiting to experience. She figured out it was all just a lie when you began to just lose interest. But in actuality you were never interested. And this sweet, innocent, and naïve girl was still young. But she felt as if she had aged 1,000 years. The stress, worry, fear, sadness, it ate at her from the inside out. She may be young, but her youth has been stolen from her. And after you’ve thrown her away, she knows more. But she would exchange what she has learned in her time with you for the naïve and happy girl she used to be. If this was love; bitter, deceptive, one-sided, and heart-wrenching. She wanted no part of it.

- J.G.