No Excuses; No Apologies

I was on Facebook today and I had an epiphany. One that broke my heart a little, but also changed my mind and the way I speak on certain things.

As we all know, the political and racial climate in our country at the moment is so tense. I, as a white woman, stand in a very comfortable spot in this particular storm.

Yes, I face some judgment. I am, after all, a stay at home mom (some say lazy) and a homeschool learning coach (most say insane), and these two blessings come with pursed lips and rolled eyes, too many times to count.

But, where I must bite my tongue and move on from judgmental stares (and the occasional "aren't you afraid of ruining your kids' education"), I never once thought of what it must feel like to have to deal with that just because of the color of my skin!

Today, while on my book of faces, I began to read the comments made on a post about HGTV's brand new couple on Flip or Flop. The couple are beautiful and strong African Americans and I felt my excitement rising! HGTV has been predominantly white for a very long time and suddenly I was seeing diversity!

And an awesome show of it at that!

This couple are not only people of color, but military as well and the woman looks as though she could hold her own in the remodeling world. Her arms made me envious!

My excitement was mirrored in the comments, as people of color showed their happiness. I was happy for them and I commented my delight alongside. But what I did spy was something that made my own thoughts in the past do a double take.

"They're black! So of course I am watching!" One comment exclaimed.

"What does color have to do with it? Haven't we had enough of this racial divide conversation? Can't we just forget it and be united for once?" Was a reply.

The reply shook me.

Why?

Because, suddenly, I realized I was guilty of saying this same thing. I was guilty of trying to take away the celebration of a milestone, from somebody who was genuinely happy to see her race represented, beautifully, on television.

I was one of those white women saying, "Can't we all just get along? #alllivesmatter."

How rotten was I?

I instantly went into defense mode. The people of color on that post were happy and here was a woman, just like me, trying to take it away. Trying to sweep years of oppression and hurt underneath the rug and begging an entire race of hurt and upset people to "just let it go."

It hit me, I had to say something.

"Of course race matters here. People of color should be allowed to celebrate that this show is representing them in such a positive light. They should be allowed this moment to shine. Until all of our children are taught to judge people not on their skin color but on their character, we should allow them these baby steps towards equality. It is well deserved and long overdue."

As a homeschooling mom, I have been relearning a lot of history here lately. My ancestors were sharecroppers and our recent lesson was about the hardships and suffering share croppers went through. When it came time to discuss them with my son, I was sure to tell him a little about his own history and about his grandfather's family.

I told him about the family who was oppressed and taken advantage of by other people, but at the same time I was blessed that this was the history I could teach. My heart breaks for the mom who has to explain to her child why the people who look like her in the history book, are in chains!

Of course, there was a fire back. There was a comment about lacking character because we couldn't put it aside, about how they are further segregating themselves from the rest of us by making a big stink. Essentially.

The Mad Cow Mob Boss has no end of words for bullets, so of course I had to comment back again.

"I will say a quote that is often forgotten by my fellow white Americans (well that is unless the forgetting is affecting them directly), if you forget your history, you will be doomed to repeat it. I don't ask my fellow Americans of color to forget what the white people did to them, I only ask them to give us a chance to prove to them that we can be united.

History is a part of who we are and we can either forget it and keep repeating the same things or we can learn from it and help our sisters and brothers of different colors feel like they have a place at America's table!!"

My epiphany didn't end there.

"Saying, 'can't we just forget about it and move on' is extremely lacking in character. You sound like a man who got caught cheating on his wife and wants everything to 'just be okay again.' Get out of here with that mess! The hurt is still there hunny! I don't blame them for being hurt and upset."

"Get out of here with that mess!"

The atrocities suffered by some of our American people cannot be swept underneath a rug. They still feel the sting of it every time they think of what their great, great, great grandparents had to go through. They feel the burning rage after every person of their race is unjustly judged or murdered purely on the appearance of their skin.

How can they help it?

They can't. It's human nature. It's instinct.

WE as a nation of diverse people ARE able to help it! We can step back and give them their celebration. Let them take their positions among us; in the workforce, in entertainment, and in every day life, no matter what color they are, and let them feel the pride of being an American.

Without the hard work of ALL the people on the bottom, the slaves, the sharecroppers, the immigrants, this country would not be the great nation it is today. United, the hard working and color blind Americans will stand against all odds! Let us not allow the few who cannot see past skin pigmentation hold us back from celebrating what a wonderful, diverse and FREE nation we are!

WE ARE ALL FREE!