Humans logo

Not All Bruises Are Visible on the Skin

Abuse in relationships doesn't have to be physical.

By Louisa JanePublished 5 years ago 3 min read
Like

My sister is floating round high as a kite. Happy pills do not take away the problem, and if you were to take away the pills we'd still be in the same boat. It concerns me that people are perceiving her induced positivity as a cure, end of problem, that's all, folks. She was given her prescription last week, on the back of her boyfriend breaking up with her. But it's more than that, we've learned. It wasn't until after the break up that she began to open up about what really went on. She'd sit and tell me about the sexual things he's make her do and then wonder why I sat there horrified.

I'll never forget her words; "Isn't that what sex is?"

Truth is he was, behind closed doors, an example of abusive scum. He and my sister had met in secondary school as a pair of year 7s, fell in love, and had spent the past seven years hanging off each other's every word. And then apparently that all changed about eighteen months ago when they finally sealed the deal. They were sixteen and it was the first time for both of them, and it started to all go wrong from then. My sister hadn't wanted to. She wanted to wait until marriage. She isn't religious, but felt so strongly about how it was a special moment and should be saved. He'd pressured her into it, saying that they were gonna end up together anyway so they may as well. In the months after their first time he began to reveal the depths of his sexual fetishes, often involving demeaning role play, and sometimes violent outbursts.

The day they broke up was horrendous. They were together one day, the next he had completely cut her off with no explanation. After days of silence, mum took her to his house, thinking something awful must have happened for him to just ignore her the way he was doing. Mum didn't even leave the driveway. He answered the door to my sister and yelled in her face, saying so much and absolutely nothing all at the same time. She clambered back into the car confused and in floods of tears. As the weeks past, we came to understand from their mutual friends that he was cheating, with anything with a pulse and had been for we don't know how long. Maybe it's best we never find out.

We did a lot of talking about it, she didn't realise it was an abusive relationship until after they'd split up, and that was almost worse to bear than the break-up itself. He was all she'd ever known. She'd been so caught up in the idea that he was 'the love of her life' and couldn't possibly be hurting her, even though it did hurt sometimes. Dad had to leave the room. I found him standing on the back step, shaking with anger and his eyes threatening untamed tears. It broke his heart.

I just wanted to get this story out there, to plant the seed for anyone who looks at their partner and thinks; that hurts me too. Emotionally, sexually, physically, any way. It isn't okay, no matter how much love you think is there. Your self-worth, confidence or dignity is not an acceptable cost.

Thankfully my sister is strong enough to see how evil he was. The extent of what's happened hits her now and then, but she's on the mend. It'll take time but she will get there, one day.

breakups
Like

About the Creator

Louisa Jane

British.

Paediatric speech and language therpaist.

Art enthusiast.

Amateur-dramatics amateur.

Francophile.

Traveller.

People person.

Of the general happy-go-lucky sort :)

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.