Not So Perfect Love Story: Part 4

At this point in the game, you’re probably like, “Jesus, take the wheel…. I’m getting tired of this fool and this Marriana mess.” It’s understandable but at the same time, you have to understand our dynamic. It doesn’t really matter what’s going on between us, I’ll always be there for her no matter what the circumstance is. I will say that, this is my last time though. I’ve come to the realization that she is nothing but trouble and not good for my life or health. On the way there, I’m thinking of what to say to let her know what the deal is.

Once, I get there I find Marriana crying.

Marriana: Hey… I’m sorry to call you over here like this. I just needed somebody to talk to…

Brandon: It’s all good… I totally understand!

Marriana: Yeah, it’s just so hard…

Brandon: I feel you… Do you know exactly what’s going on?

Marriana: They don’t really know and I’m just so scared.

Brandon: Don’t be scared. Everything will work out, it always does.

Marriana: Yeahhh *starts crying*

Here we go again. I’m such a sucker for tears but I have to go through with the plan. I have to let her what I had been thinking about.

Brandon: Hey… So, I have to tell you something… I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I don’t know if I can do this.

Marriana: Do what?

Brandon: This whole back and forth game.

Marriana: But I need you…

Brandon: Do you really?

Marriana: I do.

Brandon: So then why do we keep doing this?

Marriana: It’s hard to explain.

Brandon: Well, I need an explanation because I don’t get it…

Marriana: *shrugs*

Brandon: To be completely honest with you… On the way over here, I was planning to say all these terrible things to you. Like I’ve just been thinking about our past and how everything has just fallen apart and how you’ve been the root of my downfalls and depression but now all I want to say to you, is that I miss you…

Yeah, that didn’t go as planned at all. After that, we talked about fixing things and growing from the past. Originally, I was supposed to be ending things and now I’m in way deeper than I was. The worst part about it is that I had to lie and make it seem like Jameelah and Marshá were out of the picture. Smh, I’m such a hoe.

Some weeks go by and everything is going pretty well. I was doing well with the whole three girl thing. That is until…

Before I get into how everything goes down the drain, I can explain. It wasn’t my fault THIS TIME. I’ll tell you how.

So, I’m out with Jameelah and everything is going smoothly. I planned out this little lunch at a dog park. You would think that this would’ve been perfect. It’s a dog park and the only people that are there, are dog owners playing with their dogs or letting them play with the other dogs. Nobody had a dog (Marshá or Marriana) or at least so I thought. So anyway, guess who I see jogging with a Great Dane? Marriana…

Marriana: Umm, hey…

Brandon: Oh God.

Jameelah: Why is she here?

Marriana: The real question is why are you here? Brandon, you told me you got rid of this little bitch a long time ago?

Jameelah looks at me.

Jameelah: Bitch? Hold up… Brandon, what the hell is she talking about?

Marriana: Brandon, tell her! She needs to know…

Brandon: I… Well…

Jameelah: Tell me what? You’re supposed to be my man…

Marriana: Man? You might want to ask your “man” about why he was at my house last night.

Jameelah: Brandon… You told me that you guys ended up shooting late and so you stayed over at Theo’s place?

Marriana: All lies… It’s okay to be the sidepiece though… Well, you two have fun! I would say watch out for the shit out here but you’re sitting next to the biggest one of all because he’s full of it! Anyway, tootles…

Yoooo… Since when did she get a dog? I’m still trying to figure that one out. Like she doesn’t even like animals like that, I’m so confused. Note: It all goes down from here.

Brandon: Look, I can explain…

Jameelah: No need to…

Brandon: I’m sorry.

Jameelah: (starts crying) Don’t apologize for what you really wanted to do. Besides it’s on me… I continuously let you manipulate me and have me feeling like I’m crazy when in reality you out here just hoeing around and got me looking all types of stupid. I’m just so hurt, and I don’t know why… Oh wait, I do know why… Because I trusted you and really believed you were the one. I’m so done with you Brandon. I hate you and I mean that from the bottom of my soul.

That sucks… I wish there was something that I could’ve done or said but, I was caught. There was absolutely nothing that would’ve made the situation any better. I felt so bad. I could feel her pain. I’m such a fuck up… I ended up doing the only thing I knew to do, which was call my best friend.

Brandon: I messed up.

Karim: What did you do?

Brandon: You remember how I was telling you I was going to get rid of Marriana for good?

Karim: Yeah

Brandon: Well, I couldn’t do it and now I’m juggling the three of them around and I don’t know what to do. Like I’m so upset at myself that it’s not even funny. This isn’t who I am. I’m not a player or a dog or none of that stuff but I’m slowly becoming that. I’m a monster. I’ve never been in this position before and I just can’t handle it. Once upon a time I was that lonely kid that lived in the middle of nowhere that was cool but never got out the friend-zone. I never understood why but honestly that was my comfort zone. I’m not used to all this attention. I didn’t ask for this, I just want things back to how they used to be. Like, I’m so infatuated with love its crazy and that’s what got me in this position to begin with. I begged for it for so long and now it’s killing me. *breaks down*

Karim: First things first, you’re not a monster. You’re just living life and making mistakes like the average person but that’s okay. If you learn from it, then everything works out. That’s what life is all about. You live, and you learn. You’re a great guy. You just need to let love come to you instead of chasing it and everything will come to fruition.

Brandon: That’s the thing, I’m messing with peoples’ lives and emotions. I don’t have time to learn. I need to know. I can’t keep hurting people because of my own insecurities and issues. I just need to go.

Karim: Go where?

Brandon: Away…

Why is everything so hard? Love makes no sense but it’s a necessity for life. Which basically means I’m a failure at life. I’m done with this. Forget feeling sorry for myself. There’s really no point of being here anymore. Remember when I said suicide was the answer? Now is the time.

I write up a manifesto:

I’m sorry but I can’t keep doing this to you. I keep hurting you and you don’t deserve that. No matter what I do, Marriana will always be there. Honestly, I know I can’t fully get rid of her, so to make things easier, I’ll get rid of myself. This isn’t ideal, but I just want you to be happy and with me, you’ll never be completely happy. I’m sure at the end of the day I’m still going to hurt you by my actions but I at least I won’t have to see your pain because I can’t stand to see that again. I love you and I love everything you’ve given and shown me over our time together. I honestly owe all my success to you. When nobody including myself believed in me, you did. You pushed me to do better and didn’t accept my excuses. If only I was…

Before I could finish, guess who walks in.

Jameelah: Hey

Brandon: What are you doing here?

Jameelah: Karim told me about the conversation you guys had. She said you sounded like you needed me, so that’s why I’m here.

Brandon: Well you need to go.

Jameelah: I’m not going anywhere, Brandon. I can’t let anything bad happen to you, no matter how much I’m upset with you.

Brandon: Jameelah! Please leave!

Jameelah: No, and why do you have a gun on the table? Brandon, I know you’re not getting-

Brandon: I’m sorry…

POP!

Just like that, everything came to an end… The end of my dream that is. I can’t die, I have more story tell you guys. Anyway, I abruptly woke up and sat up like, “Damn that was a crazy dream.” It was so vivid! Maybe it was a sign?

Just then my phone rings…

I know you’re thinking, DON’T ANSWER IT, but I did…

Brandon: Hello?

Marriana: *crying* She’s dying… My mother, she’s dying!

Brandon: Are you serious?

Marriana: *crying* yes!

Brandon: Wait, you okay?

Marriana: *crying* No! My mother is on her deathbed… What do you mean, “Am I okay?”

Brandon: Where are you?

Marriana: *crying* Home

Brandon: Hold on… I’ll be there!

At this point in the game, you’re probably like, “Jesus, take the wheel…. I’m getting tired of this fool and this Marriana mess.” It’s understandable but at the same time, you have to understand our dynamic. It doesn’t really matter what’s going on between us, I’ll always be there. No matter what the circumstance is. I will say, this is my last time though. I’ve come to the realization that she is nothing but trouble so on the way there, I’m thinking of what to say to let her know what’s up.

Once, I get there I find Marriana still crying.

Marriana: Hey… I’m sorry to call you over here like this. I just needed somebody to talk to…

Brandon: It’s all good… I totally understand!

Marriana: Yeah, it’s just so hard…

Brandon: I feel you… Do you know exactly what’s going on?

Marriana: They don’t really know and I’m just so scared.

Brandon: Don’t be scared. Everything will work out, it always does.

Marriana: Yeahhh *starts crying*

Here we go again. I’m such a sucker for tears but I have to go through with the plan. I have to let her know what’s’ up!

Brandon: Hey… I have to tell you something… I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I don’t know if I can do this.

Marriana: Do what?

Brandon: This back and forth game…

Marriana: This isn’t is a game…

Brandon: Oh, but it is. You clearly must’ve forgotten about our history together? Once you told me about your mom, I instantly called to see if everything was okay and she answered and was just fine. She was only upset that I was calling/waking her up.

Marriana: You caught me… I just missed you.

Brandon: That’s crazy! Well, you’re actually making what I’m about to say to you a million times easier. You’ve ruined my life enough… So, I’m out!

Marriana: Brandon! Don’t you dare walk away from me? You’ll be back!

Brandon: I really won’t! I’m good now… Don't get me wrong, we've had an amazing run. I mean , it hasn't been perfect but when things were good, it was great. I will cherish some of those times for the rest of my life but, I've found the love of my life now and it's time I stop letting her down before I lose her completely. So, I wish you the best and hope that you find happiness and success...

When I tell you that it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of my chest, that’s exactly how I felt. I mean, I finally did what I should’ve done years ago. All the heartbreak and stress that has been swirling around me all this time, is gone. The craziest part about it, I didn’t even feel any regrets. I was just done. When you get to that point, it feels so good to be free.

Later that morning, I had a few things that I needed to do. I needed to talk to both Jameelah and Marshá. I made up my mind and I knew what I wanted to do. So, I called her.

Brandon: Hey! I got your message last night, but I figured I’d just give you a call.

Marshá: Hey! That works. So, what’s up?

Brandon: Well, I’m going to be honest with you. After you told me that you wanted to be friends, we were just that and everything was cool.

Marshá: Okay?

Brandon: Yeah, but I thought that was all that you wanted, and I kept my line open and I ended up talking to my ex again and we’re fixing things. I’m telling you because I don’t want to be that guy that’s trying to play you. You've been through a lot already.

Marshá: I can respect that.

Brandon: I’m glad you can. I hope that doesn’t change us being friends though. I feel like everything happens for a reason and I was supposed to meet you that night… Even if I was drunk and wild haha

Marshá: Haha yeah, good times.

Brandon: Friends?

Marshá: Most definitely!

Afterwards, I decided to pop up at Jameelah's house so that I could surprise her right quick. As soon as she opened the door, I gave her my speech.

Jameelah: It's early as hell... What's up?

Me: I know... but I couldn't wait!

Jameelah: Brandon.

I look at her with a smile.

Jameelah: Why are you looking at me like that?

Me: Because... I've been hearing my name my whole life, but every time you say it, I feel like it's worth something.

Jameelah:Oh really?

Me: Yeah... You remember when I first asked you to be my girl?

Jameelah: Of course I do! ...you were so nervous, it was cute.

Me: I wasn't... I mean, that's besides the point.

Jameelah: *laughs*

It's true. I was so shy that I couldn't even say what I wanted to say to her face to face. I literally walked back to my car and sent this text before going back to her response.

Me: Well, I mean all of that but I want to add more to it. Basically, I've been an idiot and I wish I could take back all the pain I've caused but I can't. However, I can promise that the future will be amazing. Especially if you allow me to be by your side every step of the way.

Jameelah: You're so dramatic, I love it... Brandon, I love you but

Me: but what?

Jameelah: I can't do this...

She walks back inside and closes the door. My mind/heart are both racing at this point. I have absolutely no Lue what's going on, then I get a text.

As happy as I was about finally getting things back to normal, the joke was terrible and best believe I let her know. Thankfully, here's where the story ends.

Go figure right? I’m straightforward and it’s that easy. Funny thing is, that’s the moral of this whole entire story. Be clear of your intentions and always speak up no matter the situation even if you feel that one party may be hurt in the end. That right there could’ve saved me so much time, pain, and suffering. It turned out for the better though because then I wouldn’t have a story to tell.

Also, a flower never blooms if it holds onto the weeds below… Meaning, you have to let go in order to live. If not, you’ll never bloom or fully enjoy life at its peak. So, with that being said if you didn’t take anything away from this, take away that. Let go and fly! Go be beautiful and don’t let anyone or anything stop you.

Oh yeah, one more thing, get rid of all your crazy exes lol.

The End