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On Domestic Violence

“Why didn’t they just leave?”

By Brandon LeuangpaseuthPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Domestic violence can be physical or psychological and can impact anyone of any gender, race, age or ethnicity.

Abuse or domestic violence may include behaviors meant to scare, physically harm, or control a partner. It is generally one partner trying to assert their power over another

Common examples include threats, insults, sexual coercion, and emotional abuse.

Domestic violence victims often face traumatic events that cause them to have diminished self-worth, anxiety, depression, as well as a sad sense of self-worthlessness.

This begs the question...

Why would anyone stay in a relationship where their partner beats them?

Why would they not just leave?

Abusive relationships are far more complicated than simply leaving. It is not so black and white. There are so many elements to each person staying in an abusive relationship, just saying: "you should just leave" does not cut it.

Leslie Morgan Steiner, a TED speaker, and victim of a routine abusing lover, describes it as a "psychological trap disguised as love."

Steiner reports 1 in 3 women are stalked or is a victim of abuse at some point in their life and the CDC reports that 1 in 3 children are abused every year.

In her TED Talk, she explains her story with a supposed lover who repeatedly physically attacked her and mistreated her.

Her ex-husband would kick her down the stairs, choke her, throw food at her face, verbally and physically threaten her... and she did not leave the relationship...

"Why don't you just leave your abuser?"

Well... it is incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser... she says.

Steiner reports that 70 percent of domestic violence murders occur AFTER the victim ends the relationship...

That is a troubling statistic for a victim.

Yes, there are thousands of women and men who stay silent through abuse. However, there is an issue with false allegations of domestic violence...

Phoenix domestic violence attorney, Craig Orent, states that states across the United States enacted many laws to protect the victims of crimes of domestic violence. He believes those laws are being misused by both the citizens as well as law enforcement.

"Many innocent men's lives are being destroyed because of these laws that favor protecting the victim—even if the allegations were false..."

Many male domestic violence victims go unreported. A big part of the reason why is gender roles in modern society that perceive men who are abused by women as "weak." Men are shamed for admitting to being a victim to women.

Research has shown that men and women commit domestic violence against each other in equal numbers. However, the number of reported victims are overwhelmingly female!

Domestic violence is destructive to both males and females. It should be noted that there is a tendency for domestic violence to be passed down from generation to generation.

The lines get blurry when society tends to side with the victims over domestic violence even if the allegations were false. Domestic violence can be prevented if more and more victims speak out. Laws need to be passed to stop the automatic siding with the victims to give potential innocent men a chance in the legal system.

We can all take steps to end domestic violence. If you or a loved one are trying to leave an abusive relationship, it is crucial to remember that it is the abuser that has to change.

Get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or perhaps your local domestic violence outreach organization. The organization can help you to learn more about creating a safety plan or to talk to a friend about your concerns for his or her abusive relationship.

Let's all end domestic violence today.

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About the Creator

Brandon Leuangpaseuth

Brandon Leuangpaseuth is an organic growth marketer from San Diego, CA. The combination of these skills makes him a skilled growth marketer who can help start-ups scale quickly. Apply to work with him on his website.

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