One Bad Deed Doesn’t Define a Person

Have you ever been in a situation where you were looked down on or judged because of something you did in the past? Well it isn’t a pleasant feeling. Or, have you ever looked down on someone and thought someone was the scum of the earth because of something they did? I have been on both sides of this coin and I didn’t like either. As humans, we are not perfect in any shape or form. No matter how good a person can be, we tend to make decisions or do things that may not be so good. At the moment of that decision, sometimes we don’t think about the effects and the long run consequences of the action—we tend to only think about the temporary gain. But that’s just what it is—we do bad things sometimes. The bad things we have done don’t make us bad people. Yes, over time the attitude you show people, your personality, and some of the things you do all combine to show people what kind of person you are. It does not mean that the one bad thing you did at some point automatically cancels out the other good things you have done. Personally, I wonder why some people tend to see only the bad in people. I'm not innocent of this either. I had a friend that I grew to like as a person. Even before that, I was told that this person was a no-good person especially when it came to relationships. I chose not to believe it at first, because I didn’t know this person all too well yet. That’s another thing, people: don’t take what people say about others as gospel before you even get to know them.

This friend, I got to know them better further down the line, and honestly, I didn’t see the side of this person that others said was so bad until much later. Now after finding out some bad things they did, I started to think they were horrible people. I sort of disliked myself for thinking that after a while, because I had totally disregarded every nice trait about them. But as the story about them built, I realized that people make bad decisions with their heads and their bodies but not necessarily with their hearts. And sometimes it takes a good friend, family, or partner to bring out the best in a person. You may have done some bad things, but if in your heart you feel guilt and you want to be better or even correct some of your bad decisions, that’s enough. You are not the scum of the earth. It may be hard, because people may not trust you, but you have to be willing to work to earn their trust back if it matters to you. You’ve got to make efforts to right your wrongs or just simply apologize genuinely. Because you have done it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a chance at something good. And you—yes you, who thinks that that person is never to be seen again because of something they did—well, look at the whole picture. What are the things you like or love about them. Ask yourself: If I were in their shoes, would I want to be heard? Especially if that person is making an effort to do the right thing. I don’t believe one should give up on people just based out of an action they did, without letting them explain and also when their current actions show an apologetic person.

I know a person's consistent bad actions without remorse, can make them appear as a bad person to someone—yes, that’s valid. I mean at that point, that’s just who the person is. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I'm talking about that one slip-up, that one mistake, that one bad decision, or maybe two. I believe in second chances—just remember they are not perfect and neither are you. There are many things that make a person, all of a person's hard work, love, personality and so much more. Focus on the good things and work to be better. The good will outweigh the bad.