One Crazy Blonde

I have always been a bit crazy, I've always done things differently, and I've always liked it that way. I guess you could say that other people didn't like it however, like the time I went to CAMHS* and the lady told me I was weird because I made sure both feet touched every step when walking downstairs (what a loser eh). There is however, a strong beacon of light in my life who sees past all the weird things I do, or even loves me for them (well I like to think he does), and this dear nut cases is my thank you to him.

Dear Pootle,

I don't know where to begin, what a day eh, me lost for words? I've never done one of these open letters before and my hands are clammy and I'm struggling with what to write cause I wanna tell the world everything about how much I love you but then I feel like maybe I should keep a bit just for us, so I am going to write you a list of five things you do perfectly having a crazy girlfriend that other people could do to learn.

1) You don't judge me when I stay in bed all day.

When I was younger, I was always expected to be up and ready for the world by 9 AM on a weekend and 8 AM on a school day, but as you know, at times I find the world physically exhausting. Like on Saturday 17, March when we went to Beacon Fell in the morning and I had to go to bed as soon as we got back. You understood and accepted it and allowed me to chill and watch TV. You understand that some days I can take on the whole world while others I struggle to make it outside to smoke a cigarette, and you're never mad at me for it, you let me take my time and do what's best for me.

2) You don't argue with me.

This one mustn't be taken out of context, of course if I am giving a reason to argue, you do, but when I'm just being awkward, trying to rile you up or whatever else, you do this thing where you make sure you reply with a kiss at the end of your message, as if to say like 'I know you're crazy but I love you and I'm not going to rise to your pointless arguments.'

3) Every morning we're together you find someway to tell me I'm beautiful.

It may come as no surprise that I'm not my own biggest fan, that I've spent a lot of time crying about my looks and deciding on ways I need to change, but when you wrap your arms around me on a Saturday and Sunday morning and start to sing into my ear "You Are So Beautiful" to me, all of that sort of melts away. I look at you and in your eyes I'm beautiful no matter what, and I wish sometimes I could see myself as you do. (Also continued slightly in the next point).

4) You know that the small things count.

Sometimes, I want to go on a mad adventure and go to a new city and dance around a hotel room with you while you do that thing where you look at me like I'm the only woman you've ever seen and the answer to the question 'What does your perfect woman look like?' (see I told you I'd continue the point). Sometimes I want to lie in bed drinking chocolate milk or Lambrini and occasionally come stroke your head while you play 'COD' or Fortnite or whatever game it is at that moment, and you're totally cool with that and even supply me with chocolate milk and Lambrini which makes me happy, and it counts so so so much.

5) You love me.

So here we go, here's the doozy, the thing you do so amazingly, that no one could ever do as well as you, is that you love me. You love me when I'm dressed to the nines and ready to take on the world, and you love me when I'm curled up in a ball and being scared by the world. You amaze me, every single day, with all the things you do for me and all the ways in which you love me, I love you so much, thank you so much for being my best friend, my personal comedian, my chauffeur, my number one confidant, and my soulmate.

Love always with all my heart, Laura. xo

*CAMHS is a British institute of mental health services—Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.