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Online Dating

Why it's not worth it.

I tried online dating for a few months before I eventually realized that it isn't even worth the time. Here's why ...

1. It's dangerous.

Don't meet up with someone at their house, meet them in public. Tell someone where you are going, especially if you do decide to go to their house. I always texted my friend Sam the address I was going to meet them at, just in case I went missing. It wouldn't save me but at least the cops would have a lead. 

2. The 'nice' guys are creepy.

Some guys seem to insist that since they are the nice guy who wants a real relationship, that you somehow owe them something ... sometimes even sex. If they say that they are a nice guy out loud, chances are that they are not actually nice. Please don't be fooled by this, you don't owe any 'nice guy' anything. Also, you have every right to friend zone as many guys as you want, if they don't want to be your friend first, then they are not worth your time.

On POF, one guy demanded to know if I was sexually active at the time with anyone else, this was our first conversation ever ... I didn't even know if I liked him yet. He claimed that he needed to know, so he didn't waste his time talking with me. Just to clarify, I make great company and just being friends with me would not be a waste of time for anyone. 

3. Online dating seems to be a place to find casual sex.

I swear to god I did not know this at first and I'm sure lots of people don't make an online dating account for this reason alone, but the amount of people who were blatantly looking for sex made me worry about HIV spreading in the population. I even received messages asking if I would be interested in making 500$ in one night or if I would ever consider being a sugar baby. Needless to say, please don't reply to these messages.

4. The people on there don't really want to date?

I'v been told several times by people I was talking to online that they just got out of serious relationship and aren't looking for anything serious.

One time, I was talking to guy for a few weeks when he suddenly said I was going too fast because I was tagging him in memes. He claimed that just because he was on an online dating site, didn't mean he was actually looking to date. This confused me because the 'nice' guys seemed to think that since I was on an online dating site, that I am somehow obliged to date them? It's like, as a woman, I can never win. 

5. People you have briefly talked to, will message you out of nowhere in a few months.

This has happened to me several times now. At first it was kind of flattering but the truth is ... this is not an okay thing to do. I have never replied to one of these 'out of the blue' messages, and I suggest you do the same. 

6. Sometimes they don't message you at all.

There have been a couple of people that I actually wanted to meet and they seem so nice and we have tons in common ... then they fall of the edge of the Earth! I've thought of many reasons why this may have happened; they met someone in real life, they lost a relative and need some space, something bad happened to them or maybe even I creeped them out.

Unfortunately, I never get an answer to what happened. 

7. Couples Looking for a Third Member

This has only happened to me twice, but it creeps me out. A couple would message me asking if I would be interested in a three way relationship, either serious or just for one night. I don't think I ever replied to either of these messages. 

8. Meeting someone in person is more romantic.

After what felt like a painfully long time of online dating, I finally met someone at work. He worked on turf and I was a server. I asked him, he was shy .. which is weird because he is also hot. He's emotionally stable and doesn't think I move too fast ... he also hasn't ghosted me. Once I finally met someone offline, all of those weird online dating problems seemed to no longer exist.

From my experience, online dating just isn't even worth the time.

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