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Only the Lonely

Loneliness comes from within.

Be Open to Receive 

Life is a wonderful thing if you have people to share it with. Don’t put off today what needs to be done today. Join something…

Everyone experiences some loneliness sometimes in their lives, but there are people who experience more than their fair share. The season to be jolly is a time where people feel their loneliness the most. Everyone is talking about this event and that dinner party, and there are some with nowhere to go. These are not homeless people who have a network of friends looking out for each other, but your everyday people who you may work with or live next door to.

Loneliness is not just about a person being alone, but about feeling lonely within their lives. You may have many people among you, but you have this overwhelming feeling of detachment or loneliness. You are not a part of the group, or you are perceived as being full of life and strong and people presume that you have a life and so therefore don’t need to include you in their activities. There is nothing worse than being lonely in a crowd, or being lonely in a marriage. You want to shout out that you don’t feel that you belong, but no one would understand or really care. People only want the life of the party around them, it is too much effort to bring someone out of their shell. That shy person who would love to be included, but does not feel adequate enough to interject into the conversation.

True friends that know you and can hear you are a rare thing nowadays. We are so consumed with being popular with the crowd that to be true to your personality and show everyone who you really are is too scary for most people. No matter how popular you are, I believe that we all feel the loneliness at some time or other. Do we always feel that we belong? Do we look around and say, “Yes, these are the people I want to be with?”

Do we feel perfect strangers sometimes even if we are with friends?

For some, work is their only point of contact with people, or maybe they volunteer to do things so as to be near people and to socialize. Church is to some a way of socializing more than it is a faith or a place where they feel they belong. Married people often volunteer at events because their married lives are so lonely. You can be sitting next to a spouse and feel utterly alone. Many women I know go through this, I know only too well from my own experience.

Life is busy. I have friends, I am an organizer, I organize social events, I love to be near people; but, I am the one who does this, no one else does. “We can’t do it like you, so we don’t do it.” This is what I hear. Yes, I know, I need to get a more productive life, and I am trying to. Can anyone tell me how? Many are in this situation, bound to children, a loveless marriage and have no money. I am trying to start a business so as to earn money and hopefully gain more people to socialize with. I am a positive thinker, always pushing people to think positively for themselves and to believe in something. I am there for them all. But today I feel very very lonely, even in a crowd. I want to scream out “hear me I am here” I talk to people but sometimes feel this is just ‘noise’. I am trapped in my own loneliness and I don’t necessarily know how to get out of it.

This is why so many of us are so lonely. We are trying to communicate with people around us, but no one is hearing us. We are just another thing in the room, another person to pass your woes onto, another person for you to dump your negativity on. Where is the light? The sound of uplifting voices? A valued conversation with someone who really cares a damn. Where are all the other lonely people?

Look to your right and then to your left, do you see them? Now look into your mirror, what does that tell you? Are you one of us? Or is your life full of meaningful content and valued friends? We live in a society that is detached from feeling (in case someone should hurt us) and from fear of trust being broken (in case someone should take advantage of us). I do believe that we need to get back to a village society, where everyone looks out for each other, and shares your joys and your woes.

Life is hard to live ion your own. We need to start stretching out our arms to others and take them into our embrace and let them know that they are not alone. I do not mean like an interfering community where every one gets in your business with judgment and malice, but a place where people will respect each other’s individuality and our privacy. We can be a community and respect each other’s lives, we can share and give each other strength, and we can let them know that they are not alone. We must start trusting in each other and be there for each other before the aloneness spreads to all and gets out of proportion.

Start sharing your life with people who care and start being honest with yourself and others. Rather than stand alone, it is time to unite and to share our lives, to reach out and touch someone who makes them feel wanted and help them erase the loneliness from their lives.

Life is a wonderful thing if you have people to share it with. Don’t put off today what needs to be done today. Join something; voice your feeling to friends and co-workers. Let your family know how you feel, just don’t stand for loneliness; it is a very dark place to be. I am now going to let the light in somehow, I will trust in the energy of the world and find someone to share my life with that really does care. I will make it my mission to do so because I have seen enough darkness and I now need the light to go on. Help each other to find the switch.

Have a very happy 2002. May it be filled with laughter and meaning.

Best wishes to you all.

2016 UPDATE. Even though I have such good friends and host a radio network, and am a founder of 3 more companies, I still at times feel alone. For me, I think it is my state of being, and now I can live in that aloneness without feeling so alone.

2017 UPDATE. I still feel lonely at times, but have come to realize this is my being. Since 2012’s awakening, more people can hear me, but there is still the assumption that my life is perfect and I do not need people. I am a loner in many things, and because I can be the life of the party, I confuse people as they think I have it all. I am at peace with my aloneness and really do value it, but I feel it most when I am in a crowd, just because I simply do not fit in. This is how it is, but one day I will find my tribe and know that I am excepted as me and a part of a family of friends. For now, I so enjoy my work and commitment to the next phase of Self Discovery Radio/Community’s development that being alone will be a treat.

Read next: You Were Real
Sara Troy
Sara Troy

I have the honour of interviewing people from around the world who are making a difference in the lives of others. My network is 

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