Our Top Two Ways to Deal with Difficult People—Reigning Women

Difficult people exist, and it sucks.

You know precisely what people I'm talking about, as well. You know, the ones that seem to not only get under your skin but set up camp and hang out for a while under there.

Okay, I'm a little dramatic. But you get the point.

Some people simply have an answer for everything or an excuse for everything else. Some people don't listen, don't take direction well, or just don't give a dang about what you have to say.

Either way, we can very accurately deem these choice individuals as being "difficult."

While it's no secret that dealing with these types of people is no task for the weak, it's also no secret that there are ways.

Now, of course, any shortlist of "ways" to fix things is never any guarantee. Sometimes things are just that complex, gal pals. And with that, anything you try in life that you want to work out likely won't just be a matter of trying once—you've gotta #werk for that ish!

So okay, let's get into some things to keep in mind when dealing with the most difficult of difficult.

Actively listen.

Before the wigs start flying, we hear you!

"Why should I listen to this complicated clown?!"

The chances that your difficult comrade might be awful at listening are high, so we get the reluctance to return the never initially done favor. But hear us out.

As human beings, we're very much imperfect (we suck, tbh) so it's very rare that we actually actively listen to someone.

The difference between actively listening to someone and what we all do on a day-to-day basis is making a choice to hear everything in what your difficult Donald is saying to you.

Take mental notes on everything:

• The influx of their voice
• The speed at which their speaking
• The words their using
• What they actually mean

Taking an in-depth inventory of not only what someone is saying, but how someone is saying it is a sure fire way to tease out what someone actually means.

To give you an example, I work right alongside a gentleman every day who gives everyone grief. For everyone's single comment, he's got a few himself.

It generates an environment of negativity and complication and it makes it ridiculously difficult to speak to him, ever.

There are times, though, that I realize the things he's saying are not backed by legitimacy or a genuine association to what's coming out of his mouth. Rather, the things he's saying are connected more to a need of his to be heard.

By listening for this, I know that his need to speak isn't necessarily because he's trying to make things complicated, but because he has an insecurity that must be nourished and tended to.

While it's unfortunate that we have to deal with it, choosing to hear the complexities of it all definitely makes things easier for us to deal with and cope with.

So the next time that person gives you lip or answers everything you say with something else, take an additional moment to listen to everything in their exchange with you.

Stay calm.

You'll likely see this one everywhere and get this from everyone you ask about this.

The reason for that is very much woven into its importance. Now I can admit something in saying that I'm one of those people who doesn't get angry often, but when I do it's very hairpin-trigger-esque.

Being someone who grew up in an angry household with angry people, I was genuinely brought up to react angrily to situations I didn't understand. This, of course, has been reversed over the years with help and change, but I have moments that my anger gets the better of me.

Spoiler alert? Those moments NEVER help the situation I'm in.

I can genuinely say that no situation I've been in that has resulted in me or someone else losing their temper has ended well or been productive.

While this is arguably the most important part of dealing with difficult people, it's also the most difficult at times.

Here's the truth: difficult people don't change. And if they do? It's really freaking hard.

So basically, losing your head over something with the transformative qualities of a brick wall is a waste of your time.

It's not as simple as just saying "stay calm" and having that happen. We're not lady-gods, and we know this. But we also know that keeping your cool by realizing this is a them thing and not a you thing is a great way to cushion the blow of their antics.

So? Whenever they speak, get into the habit of taking a number of deep breaths, keeping your tone of voice steady, and maintaining your composure.

Remember, the person who loses their cool or raises their voice is always in the wrong by default. Keep your power and keep it cool.

All in all, there is little you can do to change a person of difficult character, but there are ways to stay within yourself and understand that what you choose to do and respond with are all contributors to dealing with difficult people and their contributing problems.