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Overcoming the Fear of Letting Go

Free yourself.

By Anastasia GPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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I have always found it hard to let go. Mostly people, of course. What does it even mean — to let go? To let someone leave your life without facing any confrontation from you. To let someone, who probably meant a world to you, fade away as if he or she never existed. To let somebody live their life happily without you being a part of it, to cut all the connections with them, to not allow yourself to give your decision a misleading thought — “what if I am doing it all wrong?”

With the pace of life, I learned that letting go is quite a normal process. People will always come and go. Some of them will stay, however, but only if they are meant to be in your life. Some will only come to give you a sort of experience, positive or negative — in both cases you learn from your mistakes, learn to see beyond what the people allow you to see, and learn that no one, except your family I guess, can be trusted enough. Ever.

And after everything that I have heard, read, acquired and learnt — everything seems to be all sorts of bizarre, illogical, ambiguous. Finally, I came to a point where I started asking myself mind-crumbling questions, like “How do I distinguish between those who are meant to stay and those who are not?”, “When to make as much effort as you can to make a person stay if he is important to you?”, or, “How do I know that I was not wrong when decided to let go?”

In search for the answers, I started to doubt everything I have been told about letting people come into your life and then, if necessary, leaving them behind.

They say if you are brave enough to let someone or something go, you are certainly getting something better instead of them. One door closes, another opens. But what if I do not want anything better than I have now, what if I want a concrete person to stay, although now the things have become a crappy mess?

Most probably, everything is easier than it seems — if you want someone to stay, do as much as you can to make them stay. If it suddenly hits you that there is nothing you can do about it anymore — it’s high time you stopped worried and let go. Whatever happens in your life, no matter how dark the times seem to be, how deep you feel you are drowning — it will pass. You are always stronger than you think, and you can handle more than you think. That is what I am trying to repeat to myself as mantra when I think I am going to fall to pieces again.

There is one thing that stands as opposed to everything I have said above. It is inexplicable, but there really IS something that guides us through all the hard times we have to face. There really IS someone out there to somehow know better what we need and don’t need. Probably it is God, probably just some higher order running the universe — that’s totally up to you and your beliefs. I would say, it’s name is Time. I personally learned the major part of life lessons with the passage of time. It made me see my mistakes, the mistakes of people around me, the circumstances that influenced the decisions I took — everything. It showed me how some people were only meant to share a part of the road with me and then, at the right time, leave.

I was also shown that no matter how much time has passed, some of the closest will stay with you.

I can’t say for sure if there is such thing as destiny or that every step of your life is predetermined. I would rather claim that you and only you are responsible for what is happening. I only suggest: to see the clear picture and break free from the inner confusion and devastation, we should start trusting Time.

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