Humans logo

Pain and Patience

How Pain Can Change Your Heart

By John Ames BirchPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
Like

I have recently been accused of being rude, and after some soul searching, I realized they were right. Lately, I have allowed all the pain and loss I’ve endured to harden me and make me colder.

I’m sure all of us at one time or another have been unkind to kind people because we are in so much pain that our only shield is more pain directed outwards.

In moments where we are taken advantage of, lied to, or hurt, pain causes wounds on our hearts. Like scar tissue over the years, it builds up until out hearts stop beating the same.

We become cold, distant, and even hostile because we are too afraid of enduring more pain. We stop hoping, so as not to be disappointed and see the whole world with hopeless eyes. This, as I have come to understand, is how some people survive this cruel world.

I have been guilty of this recently, so worried about betrayal or pain that I have forgotten how to trust, always seeing the knife behind the smile.

I never understood growing up why some people were rude and hurtful, but I have come to learn that it’s really pain and sorrow in disguise. This “scar tissue” keeps us from experiencing life to the fullest and keeps us tethered to the pain of the past, which blinds us to a hopeful future.

It’s hard to break free from the behaviours we adopted to defend ourselves, and despite my understanding of this, I can still be abrasive at times when confronted with more pain.

This life is hard and for some of us it’s unbearable at times, but we need to realize that the only thing that will help those lost in pain is kindness and patience. This can be like a lifeline or an oasis in the wasteland. All it takes is a smile, a kind gesture, or even a hug to let them know that through the pain they are not alone.

So if you see someone who comes across as rude or short, we all need to realize that they are in immense pain and we need to be more understanding of them and ourselves. We all stumble at times, and sometimes we need a helping hand to stand again, stronger than before. It doesn’t matter if you fall a thousand times, only that you stand up a thousand more.

Sometimes that pain can be silent too—people in so much pain that they turn it inward. Holding the pain in their hearts like a burning coal that eats away at them. We need to help the silent sufferers as well. Life does get better. Little by little as we, it will. It doesn’t matter what happens to us or doesn’t happen, what matters is how we react. Each day is a fresh start, and while we might stumble in this eclipsed world, we need to get back up and try again as many times as it takes to bring back the dawn.

The world is full of pain and suffering, and to make a better world, we all need to add more compassion and understanding—whenever and wherever we can. To mend a broken heart sometimes means being cut by the jagged edges.

We can. Each of us can help those unkind or distant people by showing them compassion, kindness, and patience—even if that person is sometimes ourselves.

“You either create a world for everyone or else you will end up in a world fit for no one.”

humanity
Like

About the Creator

John Ames Birch

Hello all I’m just an everyday person taking a introspective look at myself and the world. Trying to help anywhere and everywhere I can.

“You either create a world for everyone or else you will end up in a world fit for no one”

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.