Paint Color Can't Erase Me

Dear New Wife,

I was shocked when you chose to move into my old home. I realize that you thought you won when I divorced my husband, but I didn't want to be married to someone who cheated on their wife, but that is your problem now. I mean, you cheat on men who have families and wives. He cheats on women who have had four children with him, so you are meant to be together. I don't know how you are able to trust another — but that is not my worry. I am still appalled that you moved into my home.

I built that house — I picked the design and house builders on the house. We discussed how they like concrete foundations and what it would all entail during a nice luncheon. I picked out the floor plan, after carefully looking at several and figuring what would work for my family and then adjusted the floor plan, and watched as they built the foundation and as they slowly got it built. I picked the hardwood flooring and the stain we decided to use after four or five tries. I picked the railing used for the stairway. I selected what I wanted each door to look like after looking over several door styles. I chose the doorknobs after feeling several doorknobs and trying to figure out the finish on those doorknobs. I went to the lighting store and picked out each chandelier we used in every ceiling and the lighting for outside and the choice of lighting under the cabinets. I selected the stone outside and how we wanted stacked stone and selected the brick after looking at almost every brick choice at General Shale. I designed the kitchen layout and how we would use the kitchen to the most detail. I shopped for our appliances at Ferguson's and ran over one of the largest checks I had made out to them after we chose on our appliances and if we thought the Viking Range was worth the value or not. I remember the selection of the cabinets in the kitchen and what stain we liked on those cabinets. I recall the selection of the granite for every bathroom and kitchen island and cabinets. We drove out to see several remnants and chose different ones for each bathroom and loved to look at the differences of each. I selected the backsplash and how I liked the design for above the range. I chose the carpet for the basement and how the layout in the basement should be. I decided what each and every closet should be like and how I like them — and how they would be used. The closet placement was one of my favorite parts of building the house because I had to think how we really lived in it. I picked each and every Moen shower faucet and design needed. I selected how the drive around would be and the colors for the painted driveway. I helped select all the shrubs and trees and added more trees when I felt they were needed. I selected the garage doors and the outside paint colors. I picked out every color painted in that home and remember when the builder had an open house — each realtor and builder commented on how lovely those paint choices showed off the house. I do remember thinking that I not only lost my dream of being married forever and the future I envisioned, but lost the home that I so lovingly helped design and build. I felt that the right decision was to leave after it didn't sell, but that I didn't need 5000+ square feet for a home with just me and my children. I thought my ex-husband would put it on the market and he could worry about it selling, but alas, he chose to move in with you in my home.

I saw you decided to paint the inside, and eventually the outside. But, what you don't understand is that you can't paint me away. You might have convinced everyone that I don't exist as you should feel guilty of ruining a family and a marriage. You don't seem to care — and that is why you can't speak to me — you are guilty. You should be. I was home taking care of four children, while you went on vacation with my husband, several times, knowing good and well he had a family, but if you pretended we didn't exist, you wouldn't feel badly for what you have done. Paint won't change any of that. Enjoy the house.