Questions of Love

What is a date to you? How can you have a worst date when you barely go on them? Why are you so judgmental towards couples? Why are you single? Is it because you hate people? Why do you hide away from people who like you?

These are the questions I receive on a daily basis... I don't "hate" people and I'm not always judgmental, but I’m going to explain these questions one by one, starting with question number one.

1. What is a date to you?

Would you like my smart sarcastic response to this or my real and genuine response? Well let me just tell you both of them...

My sarcastic response would go along the lines of, "A date to me is a certain day of the week; my favourite date is definitely May 12th as it's not too hot or too cold, just right," whereas my genuine response is, "A date to me is a waste of time; a date is throwing your heart at someone and it getting crushed right in front of you. You go on a date to fall in love with someone not for them to completely ignore you until you reach breaking point in the middle of a busy city hoping no one sees how heartbroken you really are.” Yeah...my idea of a “date” isn’t the best so let’s get onto question 2.

2. How can you have a “worst date” when you barely go on them?

Honestly, this is a question I love getting. No one really understands how anyone else feels when they experience a bad date. If I’m being completely honest here, almost all the dates I have been on have been absolutely horrendous. For example, my very first date was when I was 14 years old and it was my first boyfriend. We were around maybe three weeks into the relationship when we went on our first date to the Christmas market that was in town…but we weren’t alone because we went in a group of six, two couples and two people who were in relationships but didn’t have their “other half” with them. This date started horrible. I was meant to meet the “love of my life” at the bus stop, but he hadn’t left his house, so me being responsible I phoned him…and he made me walk to his house to meet him and my best friend's boyfriend who was in the group we were going out with. Once I got to his house, he completely ignored me until we met the others at the bus stop, which is a wrong move, guys. We get into town and he’s back to ignoring me fully… Let’s just say that date ended with a breakup…for about 24 hours because I was “madly in love with him” so yeah, I have really bad dates.

3. Why are you so judgmental to couples?

Me? Judgmental to couples? Neverrrrrr *eye rolls.* Let me just explain this one a bit better than the question says… I don’t judge couples. Like I love seeing my friends happy with the people they “love,” I just don’t get why they have to do everything in public. Like why do you have to make out in front of me when you have a perfectly good house to do that in? I love couples but hate PDA.

4. Why are you single?

Right, all I can say to people who ask me this is…leave.

I’M SINGLE BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES ME LIKE THAT. IS THAT TOO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?! I’ve been in relationships and I don’t exactly like them (more because of bad experiences, but you get me). If I wanted to date someone I would.

5. Is it because you hate people?

This goes hand in hand with the leave statement above. I don’t hate people. I mean if I hated people, would I have done an entire month on my Instagram leading up to my 15th birthday taking a different person each day and just dedicating my whole day to them? No? Then I don’t hate people… I love people too much. Maybe that’s why I’m single, because I’m too nice.

6. Why do you hide away from people who like you?

This question I can’t give you the answer to because I don’t know why I shy away from people. I’ve always been like that… When someone gets really close to me and I find out they like me, I don’t want to be involved anymore. I don’t know if it’s because I’m from a “big judgmental family” or because I’m an “only child” (please don’t tell my brother I said that), but there’s always an excuse I make when I’m asked this question.

I need some tips on how to not shy away because to be honest, I’m lonely and Valentine’s Day is quite literally a stone’s throw away. This time last year I was in a happy relationship (for like two weeks, but does time really matter when you are happy?) preparing myself for what I’m going to do for the rest of my life… I wanted to go off writing books and travelling the world so I applied to study photography… Don’t ask, but I got my life together quite quickly without realising, and now I just want someone to share the experience with me… It shouldn’t be that hard, right?