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Questions to Ask on a First Date

Sitting across from your date in silence? These questions will help you overcome that loss for words.

Dating can be awkward. In fact, it totally is awkward — especially if it's online dating. You're meeting some random person you picked off the net for coffee, and you're supposed to act like you've known each other for ages. Or, something. It's hard to tell with modern dating.

If you're shy or just unsure of what to ask, these questions usually will get people talking. 

Know any good bars around here?

Many people out there tend to enjoy a nice glass of beer once in a while. Most people also have a specific go-to bar in the area they live. If you're new to town, you can get an earful of what the bar scene is like — and maybe get them to bring you there. 

What's your job like?

Unemployment is way down, so most people will have a job they can talk about. Considering that most people spend around eight hours a day at work, they probably have a lot to say about it. 

Ask them about it, what it's like to work there, who their favorite coworkers are, and if they'd suggest it to friends. More often than not, this gives them an "opening" to let them talk about themselves in a good light — and that makes you more likable. 

What's your favorite food?

Everyone has a favorite food, even if they don't have taste buds. Food is one of those topics that everyone can talk about, regardless of background, too. As a question, it's pretty foolproof. 

What do you like to do when you're not working?

A large chunk of our time involves free time. This question will allow you to learn a ton about your date — and yes, it also will teach you whether or not you are compatible with your date. Much like with the work question, it also allows them to flex their cool aspects as much as possible. 

What kind of music do you listen to? Do you go to concerts?

Music, much like food, is a universal language. It's super rare to meet someone who doesn't have a favorite form of music.

But, this question is a lot more than just learning about whether you both like the same music. This question is also a good way to find out whether they have similar lifestyles to you and also can tell you volumes about whether or not your idea of a good time matches. After all, the kind of things that go on in country concerts will be very different from what goes on at Burning Man. 

What kind of music do you listen to? Do you go to concerts?

Music, much like food, is a universal language. It's super rare to meet someone who doesn't have a favorite form of music. 

But, this question is a lot more than just learning about whether you both like the same music. This question is also a good way to find out whether they have similar lifestyles to you and also can tell you volumes about whether or not your idea of a good time matches. After all, the kind of things that go on in country concerts will be very different from what goes on at Burning Man. 

Are you a TV person, or a movie person?

This way,  you'll learn what to put on when you're doing a "Netflix and chill" session with them later on. Need I say any more?

Do you ever cook? What do you enjoy cooking?

Cooking is a basic life skill, and also happens to be a fantastically common hobby for many of us. Everyone has that one special recipe they like to make — or at least tolerate making. You might as well talk food with your date. Who knows? You might get a good recipe for steak out of it if you do.

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Both useful and a good way to get people talking about their daily habits, this little question will help you figure out whether late night texts will become a thing with them. 

What's your social life like?

One of the biggest red flags you can hear from someone is that they don't have a social life. Aside from it being a sign that they may not have a good personality, it also hints at a pretty needy partner. 

A totally out of control party life might not be the best thing to try to get involved in, either. There's only so many times you can wake up hungover in a random location before it gets old, anyway. 

Either way, you want to hear about their social life — and you want to make sure that the social life they have sounds like something you'd want to enjoy. Also, this is a good conversation starter, too. 

What's your biggest goal today?

This one will hopefully help you learn about the kind of person they are, and teach you about what matters to them. It also is one of those awesome open-ended questions that can help you spark a million different conversations, too. 

No matter what you ask, an open ended question will help spark a more natural conversation.

Most people will open up if you seem genuinely interested in learning about who they are. People love to talk about themselves, too. So, use that to your advantage — and you might find the number of second dates you get offered to increase. 

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