Quick Tips for Moving On

I look at you, and I know you've been hurt. I can see the pain in your eyes even when you wear your breathtaking smile on your beautiful face. I know you want to move on, but you're afraid your heart will catch fire for someone new because you were burned too many times. Your walls are not meant to keep people out. Instead, those walls are meant to keep your heart in since it has a history of following your significant others blindly.

My love, you must move on. But first, you have to follow the advice from my broken heart. No one gives better advice than someone who's been in your shoes before. And, I'll be the first to say moving on is not easy. Heck, I still haven't moved on, but every day, I am one step further from the person who broke me.

You first have to start by rebuilding yourself. Spend time with people who make you so full of love. There are people who want to see you happier than you've ever been. There are people in your life who are praying for your growth every night. Keep these people close. They will be the people who stop you from texting the person who broke you when you're drunk on a Monday night.

Stay away from going out and picking up on toxic behaviors. Don't go out every night to the bar to drink your feelings away. Drinking will make you remember your pain more. Don't accept the saying, 'in order to get over someone you have to get under someone.' That will make your already broken heart worse. Don't keep lurking on their social media pages. You're just going to keep hurting yourself.

You have to rid yourself of the things that hold painful memories. It's essential for moving on. You don't have to keep the pictures, the stuffed animals, the clothes, or anything physical that reminds you of this person. All these things will instill the idea you two will someday get back together. You don't have to throw these things in the trash. You could just box them up and put them in the basement to collect dust in an attempt to not look at constant reminders of your past together. For my sister, she got drunk and threw everything in a fire. And, every time I cry over a boy, she tells me to watch his things burn if it'll make me feel better. Trust me, it won't be easy to box these mementos and set them aside. You'll want to keep revisiting them. Don't.

Next, you have to stop blaming yourself. There is nothing wrong with you! The love between you two just wasn't meant to be. I spent a great deal of time blaming myself for not being good enough. That whole time, I was miserable and no one wanted to be around me. Do not beg for someone to come back into your life. It ended for a reason, but that doesn't mean you were the reason. Learn the difference.

Relationships start with, "don't ever change," then they end with, "you've changed." My love, change is almost always good. You must remember no one will ever love you more than you can love yourself. For a long time, it would annoy me when people would tell me I needed to learn to love myself in order for someone else to love me. I am here to say that is not true. I love and value myself so much, but that doesn't mean a man will love and value me the same way. When you love yourself, you realize sometimes you're happier being alone. You are amazing with or without someone. Don't wait for someone to water your garden; water it yourself.

My love, when the time comes, I want you to date someone sweet. Someone who looks at you like you're The One. I want you to date someone brave.Someone who will tell you want to work through your fights. I want you to date someone who appreciates you. Someone who buys you your favorite snack and brings it to your work on a Wednesday night just because. I want you to date someone friendly.Someone your friends and family want around. My love, I want you to date someone who is everything you want in a person.

Please, take your time. Give yourself time to heal the wounds left on your heart. Do not compare your next relationship to your last as you are being unfair to your next lover. Be more understanding, not everyone has the same time, patience, and heart as you do. Do more of what scares you. Get out of your bed, get out of your mind, and try something new. Don't be afraid of moving on. You deserve someone who makes you happy and values you. And my last piece of advice is when your ex finally decides to come back, do not text them back.