Raging Richard

Imagine a young, reasonably attractive, shorter than expected male, with the personality of Victor Meldrew on steroids.

Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with our Vickers, he was an old man who moaned about everything, usually with the phrase “I don’t believe it!!”

Oh Richard, where to start….

We met at the train station and then walked up into town for a few drinks.

The first place was fine, until they turned the music up fairly loud.

It was a Saturday night, so somewhat expected. No sooner had we been sat down, glass of pinot in hand, he screamed “I can’t fucking hear you! It’s too loud! Lets go back over to the bar!”

A little taken aback, I followed.

Stood at the bar, trying to chat – I say trying, it was little off-putting that I could see him getting increasingly more frustrated and irritable, even more so when about 20 males then descending into the bar and we were almost engulfed in a mass of testosterone.

It was shortly after this I noticed some residue in the bottom of my glass, and pointed out as such.

Wow, well, you won’t believe what happens next. He slams his drink down and storms out of the bar.

I followed asking “What is wrong with you?”

“I can’t believe you would accuse me of spiking your drink!!” he yelled back at me.

Slightly confused, “I quite blatantly didn’t!” or did I? I was absolutely baffled!

Now, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, don’t ask me why, but I do. On this occasion I wish I hadn’t.

I suggested we move on to another, smaller bar, in some morbid attempt to try help things back on the right track. It didn’t work. The moment we sat down he pounced.

Now, I was a little overpowered by the whole, ‘I’ve just screamed at you, but lets kiss!’ thing, so I reciprocated for a nanosecond and then recoiled. What the hell was that!?!?!?!?

At that moment, I declared the date over and insisted on walking him back to the train station.

His response “But I drove! I thought I was staying at yours?”

WHAT THE FUCK MY FRIEND!!!! ARE YOU HAVING A GIRAFFE? I’ve never met you, you’re clearly a lunatic and you think I’m going to invite you back?!?!? Was I missing something? Dear god!

We started walking back towards the train station when he starts ranting about how I’d been giving mixed signals all night and now he was going to have to get a taxi back from his in the morning to collect his car! After all, I kissed him!!!

At that moment, I decided enough was enough. I pointed him in the direction of the train station and walked off in the opposite direction for a double Bombay Sapphire and slim line tonic! God give me strength!!

He then persisted to harass me via text, phone call, Whatsapp, Facebook and POF. It went on for over a week before I informed him that if he didn’t stop, I would be placing a complaint with the police.

And that, my friends, was the end of Raging Richard!