Rainy Days

It was a cold and rainy day. I lay awake in my bed, under the covers with my head sunk into one of my huge, plush, luxury hotel-like pillows. My arm cuddled the other one as I listened to the rain. I have always loved the rain. The gloominess of a rainy day, and all of its demands of movies and pizza... ice cream and cookies. Rainy days give me an excuse to stay in and do absolutely nothing. They throw all kinds of cozy vibes into my space. They also throw a plethora of random thoughts into my brain. See, the catch twenty-two for me with those kinda days is that I'm trapped alone at home with my thoughts—thoughts that create potentially chaotic situations in my head that never even happen. Still...I love the rain, and all of its complicated splendor.

MORNING...

I peeled myself off of my soft cotton sheets and pushed myself into the shower. The hot water felt great on my skin. I stood there for what seemed an eternity, letting the water dance on my body. I finally lathered up my washcloth and spread the soap all over my brown skin. I was remembering him in that moment. The showers that we had taken together on our vacation in Santorini. The way his hands perfectly gripped my waist and pulled me to him. His lips pressed gently, yet confidently against mine with our tongues engaging in rhythmic conversation. The way our soapy bodies slid against each other was pure pleasure. Where is he? I thought to myself. These damn rainy ass days that I love so much sure do know how to twist a sista up in a mind fuck. Our breakup was hard and heavy. He said he loved me with all his soul, but I was becoming too complicated with my fixation on marriage. He didn't see the point in it. I saw the point; all the points. And as much as I love him, I couldn't bend or break over it. Not even for him.

Stepping out of the shower, I managed to abort that memory. I couldn't continue to send my brain into the torture chamber of love. The rain was still heavy, and I remembered that I needed some things from the grocery store. Not wanting to leave my cozy cave, I reluctantly got dressed and headed out. I found a parking space right by the door. After making my way into the store, I grabbed one of those little handheld baskets and made my way to the necessary isles. As I was putting a pack of cheese in the basket, I happened to look up. He was in the same aisle. My heart began to race. Hoping he wouldn't decide to look up, and in my direction, I quickly looked away. "Run," I said to myself. "Don't walk, run away." Now, of course I knew that I couldn't go barreling out of the aisle and through the store. I'd look crazy as hell. It was at that moment he looked up. He saw me. I was done for.

"Mona," he said smiling. He was now walking towards me.

"Craig.... hi," I responded in a weak , lovesick tone.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Great. I'm great... just gettin some cheese and eggs..." did I really just say that stupid shit out loud?? Lord take me now... I thought to myself.

He laughed. "I know you aren't nervous, " he said as he brushed my hair out of my face. "Still beautiful as ever."

He is the same "him" I was remembering in the fucking shower. I knew at that moment in that aisle,with his hand sliding down my face, that I still loved him. Fuck!

AFTERNOON...

I was now in a really fucked up head space. Craig was all up in my head. Why did he have to be at the damn grocery store at the same time I was? I was convinced that God was playing some kinda joke on me.

I went upstairs and changed back into my pajamas. Yes. I put them right back on in the middle of the day, grabbed my chocolate bar, and got back in the bed. I found a movie to watch, which took my mind off of Craig. Until about forty- five minutes into it, my doorbell rang. I was pissed. I don't like unannounced visitors I laid there hoping whomever it was would just go away. But no. They rang it again. I got up and walked angrily over to my bedroom window. I could see the street from it. Through the pouring rain, I could also see CRAIG'S CAR. I stood there puzzled. Why is he here?? I slid my feet into my slippers and went downstairs to open the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked standing slightly behind the door.

"I know, I know I should have called. But I knew you'd tell me not to come."

"You're right. I would have," I said. "Well, you may as well come in... you're here now."

I closed the door behind him. "Damn he smells good," I said to myself. He took his shoes off and placed them on the mud mat that was laying next to the door, as it always had been. He remembered how I hated wet shoes on the floor.

"I was upstairs, watching a movie," I said as I walked toward the stairs.

He followed me to my room. I got back in the bed. He sat in the chair.

"You don't have to sit there."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, crazy ass."

We laughed. He made his way over to the bed. We talked and watched two movies.

NIGHT....

I ordered a pizza. We drank wine and watched another movie. He lit candles and we slow danced to Luther. He felt so good against me. I was wondering what he was thinking. Wondering what all of this meant. We kissed. His lips were familiar, I was elated, and my flesh was defeated.

Kisses. Bodies. Skin. Touching. Moans. Sleep.

MORNING....

I woke up to breakfast in bed. An omelet, fruit, toast, and apple juice. He looked at me with love in his eyes.

"I have been such a fool," he said.

He kissed my forehead.

"I love you Mona Hughes. I'm still in love with you."

Tears. My tears. I was aching to hear those words for months.... eight, to be exact.

"I'm still in love with you, Craig Owens. "

One month later.... in Santorini.

Mr. and Mrs. Craig Owens...

Love was resumed.... on a rainy ass day.