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Read This If You Can't Just Move On

Pain. Feelings. Loss. Real.

By M FPublished 5 years ago 5 min read
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Photo Cred. Dani Diamond

People and things only have the power that we allow them to have in our lives, the power we give them. Without that, they are nothing. They have no effect on us, no meaning to us.

Whatever you need to do, do it. You’ve got to get it out. Because you will never fully be able to move on and let go if you don’t get out all of your feelings associated with what happened and with the person associated. That chapter will always be missing an ending. You’ll never feel like it’s finished. Your feelings need to be released and you need to allow them to go. But, you can’t be ready to do that without accepting and addressing your feelings.

Some things take longer than others. Don’t try to rush this. It’s a process. Don’t try to keep it all in. Don’t try to suppress your feelings and try to pretend like they aren’t there because they are. Like they aren’t valid because they are. They don’t go away, sooner or later they will show their ugly selves again, probably at a very inconvenient time too. You choose to let it affect you now or later. I’m not saying it's an excuse for how things currently are or to completely stop living your life just because something bad happened. I’m saying that you need to take time to heal and acknowledge what happened.

“Learn to heal properly or you may find old wounds bleeding into your present”-Samantha King

Whether it’s a breakup, a lost friendship, a death, or something else horrible that has happened in your life, you don’t have to be okay. Stop trying to think you do. You don’t have to pretend like it didn’t happen. Because it did. You will never be able to ever fully let go of something that you never make peace with. Something that you never made sense of. I know you probably didn’t get closure. We rarely do. I mean making sense in the way that you are able to understand what happened and sorting out how you feel about all of it and why. Hindsight is always 20/20. But, often there’s so much you can clear up and sort out that’s in your head if you just take the time. When you understand why you feel the way you do, it will help you be able to let things go and heal. And eventually get to a point where you’re okay with what happened. It might not have been right, but as long as you’re still upset about it you’re letting it affect you. And no person or thing should ever have that sort of power over your life and how you feel.

Do whatever you need to do. Write. Cry. Sing. Color. Run. Eat your heart’s desire in chocolate. Drink your weight in wine. Hook up. Work it off at the gym. Go shopping. Scream. Punch something. Break shit. Rant to friends. Be reckless. Find a new passion. Find a way to be able to acknowledge and get out everything that you’re feeling. And I mean everything. Feel and sort out everything that it entails and why you feel that way. Give yourself permission to fully feel and accept what happened. Allow yourself to process completely everything that happened. Spend time reflecting right now instead of trying to forget so you can heal properly. Pain hurts us the more we hold onto it. Pain demands to be felt so let it. And then release it.

We don’t really ever fully feel everything we are feeling because we feel so much that we often feel conflicted. Sometimes, we don't even know exactly what we are feeling.

We are controlled by the emotions that we feel the strongest. We realize things after we’ve had time to process and calm down so we aren’t so emotional. Find a way to sort them out. It brings understanding. Get them out. It’s easier to make sense of feelings and emotions when they’re not just in your head. Let them go when you’re ready. Then move on and leave them behind.

Life may not stop just because something bad happens to you, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stop. It’s important to reflect on what happens and appropriately address it. I can promise you that the time that you spend now will be a lot less than if you wait until later down the road. The affect will be minor compared to if you continue to ignore it and try to force yourself to be okay, to move on. You’re human. You can’t just forget and be okay with something that made a significant impact on your life, good or bad. It’s okay to show that your life isn’t perfect and all rainbows and butterflies. Spend time to focus on yourself and love yourself. You should never be too busy to do something that will improve your mental health.

You can’t keep trying to deny it. You can’t keep trying to fight it. You can’t run from it because it will catch up. You can’t hide from it because it will find you. You can’t be afraid of it because there’s nothing to be afraid of. Feelings are only as scary as you make them. They aren’t ever something you should fear. You don’t have to keep it all in, it's not meant to be contained. Because just like bad food, eventually it will get bad enough that it will need to come out. You have to accept and acknowledge how you feel, all the good and the bad. I know you don’t want to. No one does. Don’t be afraid of your feelings. You either feel it now or you feel it later. Feel free to feel. Allow yourself to grieve fully.

Allow it to have a temporary spot in your life now rather than a permanent one later. Face it, don’t try to forget it.

breakups
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About the Creator

M F

Your Feelings Are Valid Author. Chainsmokers and Fletcher fanatic. Quote lover. More emotional than your typical Capricorn. TPA. ISTJ. Lesbian. Asian.

Insta: @garnishdaddy. Owner of Native Cocktail Events

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