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Reasons Why an Open Relationship May Work for You

You might be surprised, but it's true. There are plenty of honest reasons why an open relationship may work for you.

By Ossiana TepfenhartPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Up until recently, I was in an open relationship with the man I thought I'd marry. Honestly, it was a great relationship for me until he broke it off by cheating on me. Though my relationship ended horribly, the truth is that I've learned that I prefer open relationships to monogamy.

Before you balk or make a snap judgement, I suggest you give it some thought. Speaking as someone who's been in one, you should consider some of the better reasons why an open relationship may work for you.

It's more honest.

Look, we all tend to want to stray from time to time. That's why cheating is so common among monogamous couples and why otherwise good people tend to go outside their marriages for a little side lovin.'

One of the top reasons why an open relationship may work for you is because you are not limited to one person. You can have variety, if you want. The only thing you need to do when you're with someone is talk things out and pay attention to your primary partner.

You learn about yourself.

Did you ever wonder why you get jealous? Or what causes you to feel some type of way about a person? An open relationship is one where you can explore the different sides of yourself—and at times, even forces you to do so.

A lot of people who have been in an open marriage or relationship will tell you this is one of the best reasons why an open relationship may work for you and your partners. It can and will give you a lot more discipline and emotional intelligence.

Dead bedrooms will never be a thing.

Around 1 out of every 10 marriages will have a moment where sex is just not happening. If you have ever been in a dead bedroom, and you've felt what it feels like to be starved for affection, you already know why this is such a huge deal.

If you're worried about being in a dead bedroom and are concerned that your partner will stop being interested in you, you already have good reason why an open relationship may work for you. If you can't get it at home, your partner will know that you'll be out for a bit getting your needs met.

There's a stronger support network.

I don't know about you, but having to rely on one person can be pretty terrifying. I personally like to have a backup plan for just about any issue—and as selfish and insecure as this sounds, that also includes the relationship world.

If you're like me and really hate being alone, then having multiple lovers will often prove to be a very nice thing to do. Personally, it'd be very hard for me to go back to a monogamous lifestyle if it means giving up all my sidepieces. They are also some of my best friends.

More partners means you also get a lot more sexual thrills.

We need to talk about one of the most obvious reasons why an open relationship may work for you. Most people who go into an open relationship do so because they want to have sex with other people aside from their partners.

In my last relationship (I suppose I just broke it off with my primary, but whatever), I had one guy who was extraordinarily well-endowed. Another one wasn't well-endowed, but had a way of playing mind games with me that got me off hard. One more was into hard kink and would leave me with bruises all over my body.

Variety is the spice of life. Enjoy that shit.

It actually takes a lot to cheat in an open relationship.

Cheating in an open relationship is possible. It's just very hard to do. You actually have to lie to your partner about who you're dating and what you're doing. Considering that most people tend to see relationships die because of cheating, this may be a better way to handle it.

One of the things to know before you enter an open relationship is how you can handle your own partner getting it elsewhere. If you can't handle that, you really need to think hard about whether an open relationship is right for you.

There's also the fact that it kills the question of "What if?"

We've all been in a situation where we wondered what would happen if we chose a different partner—or wondered if the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence. Most of the time, this ends up with the partner dumping a great lover for someone who really isn't all they're cracked up to be.

When this happens, the person who strays usually realizes what they lost all too late. One of the smarter reasons why an open relationship may work for you is because you don't have to wonder what would happen. You could casually pursue it and realize it's not as wild and fantastic as you think it is.

It's a good way to make jealousy go the way of the dodo.

Believe it or not, studies show that being in an open or polyamorous relationship can curb jealous behavior. If you're worried about a partner being too jealous or if you want to work out your own jealous behavior, then you may have a good reason to consider opening up your relationship.

After a while in an open marriage, it'll be hard to feel jealous over sex. Trust me on that.

Speaking from personal experience, it also tends to curb domestic abuse.

The funny thing about a lot of abusers is that they are totally incompatible with open relationships, or claim that they want open relationships without being okay with you finding anyone of your own.

If you're female and/or have been a victim of abuse in the past, one of the more surprising reasons an open relationship may work for you is that it works as a defense mechanism. Abusers isolate victims. Insisting on an open relationship is a good way to isolation-proof your relationship.

Being in an open or polyamorous relationship means you know you have options—and can compare them. If someone isn't cutting the mustard, you'll be more likely to feel confident in letting them go. Ergo, there's less chance of abuse. It's that simple.

You might just make some new friends.

Believe it or not, open relationships are a good route to meet cool couples who are just as into personal freedom as you are. Though this isn't one of the primary reasons why an open relationship may work for you, it's a great perk that will make you feel a lot more confident in yourself and your partner.

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About the Creator

Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

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