Reclamation

Bella was always like a spiritual butterfly/dragonfly. Her young spirit soared and fluttered freely outside of herself at times. She was outside of herself but still there. Wish you would take off to fly in her spirit she would disconnect from herself and others. The grown-ups called this daydreaming.

Young Bella took this in stride because she shared her flights and soaring with her dad's spirit as well. After all, being with her dad was all that mattered. He understood that her young spirit and soul needed to be free and to explore the Here and Now. He was going to teach her how to stay within herself and explore the here and now in the physical but for now she was still young, wild and free spreading her spirit wings.

With the security of knowing her dad was there and she was a daddy's girl, connecting in the here-and-now experience they were in was optional. Still, there was benefits to the Here and Now experience like being a big sister to the new baby. As much as she love to see the souls of people and to connect with their spirits, her baby brother gave her companionship in every realm and dimension.

Tez's here now experience body turned out pretty darn cute. The bonus was that he a best friend before Bella knew best friend was. They talked a lot on the inside since he could only get out loud long cries for their momma most of the time He was so attached to his momma he was a crying pro always hitting high notes to stay with her. That was fine because everyone knew that she was a daddy's girl. This way they both get a parent to feel and vibe to get comfortable in the here-and-now experience.

Is Spirit soul gliders, Bella had the exact wings that her Daddy had that is why they would go gliding together in spirits. His imagination was duplicated in her soul and they saw the here and now on a whole different level than most. Her physical here and now body was a reflection of both her mother and her father. feisty and proud Young Bela would get offended when people would tell her she looks just like her mom and forget to tell her that she looks like her dad too. That compliment was the best part of her here and experience.

The worst part of the here-and-now experience was all of these dresses that she was dressed in looking like a walking flower. Her dad never walked around looking like a whole flower. Besides, the dresses brought attention and interactions with some people who had smiling faces but their soul and spirit seem to be not so sure of who they were. They would ask for hugs and kisses without her knowing they're true soul. Without seeing her grand spirit, they just saw the dress on her here and now.

Being unseen was okay as long as there was no talking about Bella as if she wasn't there and had no clue about the here and now because she was so young. They had it all wrong she was young in this here and now but ancient like her dad in her soul. With an ancient soul Bella was an accepting soul, she knew that everyone could be anyone they wanted to be. The problem was that a lot people tried to be what everyone wants them to be. This was an issue she had with connecting with souls she didn't know, she seemed to run into souls who didn't know their own souls. They hid their spiritself too, they hid them so much that it seemed that to be EXACTLY alike!? She couldn't understand it, it seemed like they wanted to be one spirit. They weren't going for being ONE like a soultribe, but one who is the SAME as others and different from their spiritself. She was ONE with her daddy and ONE & spirit twins with her baby brother, but she was still her whole spiritself. But as a child having these observations were useless and the adults thought they were correct because they were taller and had been in the here and now longer.

So she suffered through "church hugs" and ridiculous questions, more because daddy was a preacher. When her daddy preached he preached in his soul gliding voices and souls seemed to be reached. After church when they gathered they seemed to be so far away from their souls.

Outside their home and church, Bella had not completely given up on this here and now experience. She love to explore but her here and now limited her to the ground and being only 4 she was closer to the ground with little legs. Her little legs did not stop her from exploring and she tried to tell her parents on the inside that day they're in the park she was going to explore. The thing is parents don't listen very well on the inside when they are on the outside of home. So she told her brother on the inside where she was going , the problem with that was he was still not able to talk nor walk. It really became a problem when her parents got scared and angry, at the same time when they could not find her. They were scared and angry because they did not listen on the inside and they were limited to their legs too, was the observation young Bella made when her dad found her and scolded her a little bit. She thought, "See why I soar away in Spirit?!" but she knew she wouldn't be heard. She was too little. Her body was too little for her grand soul. Her here and now body felt like the turtlenecks her mom dressed her in. The turtlenecks felt like they were trying to stop her breath. She knew she needed to get more attached to her body and be in the here and now but she liked to be the butterfly or eagle spiritself, free to soar.

Looking back at Bella loved those days and being an adult she could totally empathize with her younger self. Before her father's death, she did not soar alone she soared with her father and baby brother. Visions imaginations and dreams were normal with her and her father, they shared having a second sight beyond their present. She loved being his little twin and loved the advantage of being little and being able to be held in his arms feeling secure in her experience, that made her here and now body feel like heaven surrounded her.

Her dad's death didn't break her heart initially because he was still ONE with her. That's why she honored his request to not cry at his funeral. He said it out loud to Mama but he also said it from the inside, and so she heard it from the inside and understood it from the inside. Of course the grown-ups did not understand such. Bella thought that she would be safe having his connection still there but it we can to get harder and harder to feel safe still. It became frightening to be her spirit self after she was forced to be in her her now body and feel things that she did not ever want to feel. Those things broke on the inside and she felt like she had to always stay present and afraid. She was no longer free to soar. She didn't like her body even it betrayed her in odd ways that she couldn't understand. The here and now became a scary place. Bella didn't feel as grand in the soul as she did. Looking back Bella finally saw that she needs to reclaim her body on her terms for the sake of her younger self who did not have the choice. This experience also calls for love of what's on the inside as well as what's on the outside. Reclamation was the next chapter in her healing, Bella wanted to be free to soar safely again.

Reclamation of her body would also be a redemption of her broken wings, her soul wings.

Reclamation.