"Relationship Goals?" You Can Keep Them.

Those of you that know me may have noticed by now that the ever-popular trend known as "goals" i.e. relationship goals, life goals, etc., are not ideas that I buy into. These goals shouldn't be something to strive toward, to plan your life around. Goals are defined as "the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result." It's been said that your biggest goal in life should be to strive to be the best you that you can be. Becoming a Lawyer, getting married, and having four children - those are realistic personal goals to set for yourself. It doesn't mean that they might all come true, but at least you leave yourself room to make changes, and to grow as a person. So if instead of becoming a lawyer, you become a teacher, and you end up with three kids instead of four – well don't sell yourself short yet.

I can't wrap my head around young girls who become envious of those "relationship goals" you see posted across social media. Yes, I can see the definite appeal of your boyfriend doing your makeup for you, in fact that's adorable to imagine; but personally, I have two capable hands and I can do my makeup by myself. Who are they to tell me that this is what I should strive towards or that this is how the "perfect" guy should be? They might as well suggest that you should search for a man willing to wait on you hand and foot. Maybe I should add 'find someone willing to be personal servant' to my growing bucket list.

One of my biggest goals for myself at the moment is to work on how I see and feel about myself. No longer do I want to look in the mirror and see that same broken, empty shell of myself. I want to look into my own eyes and just know that I am worthwhile, that nothing is as bad as it may seem. That things really do get better and all of those goals I have set for myself - they are attainable, just believe in yourself. I am not the scars etched deeply into my skin, nor am I the circumstances I grew up in that molded me to become who I am today. I am a young woman who dreams of being a writer, a poet, a dreamer like no one has ever imagined, and most importantly, the author and narrator of my own life.

I believe in positive attitudes. I have to say my image is a work in progress. I know from experience that first impressions matter and the way you look and carry yourself creates a lasting impact. I think that the first impression you leave someone of you can go a long way and my goal is to always leave people with the impression that I am a strong, independent, driven person and that my dreams are very important to me. I know that I am willing to fight for what I believe in and what I believe in is this: Goals change with time, we grow older and, hopefully, wiser. Dreams shift as we grow up. I remember when I was little that because I loved helping my mom prepare our meals, I wanted to become a Chef when I grew up. But when I was fifteen, I was diagnosed with Depression. I remember picking up paper and pen and writing poems and stories, and realizing that this was the escape I so desperately needed; this is exactly what I want to do when I'm older.

So I wrote and I wrote, never sharing with a soul. To this day I've never stopped. Like I said, goals are susceptible to change, but mine have only grown and expanded. Grown like my mind and my dreams and my determination to become a writer. So in this very moment, I vow to set realistic goals for myself - to not put pressure on myself to achieve them. I vow to learn how to love myself the way I know that I can in the best way that I know how. And until then, you can have your "relationship goals." I don't need them to validate who I am. I am me, I am my goals and the words that I write; I am every pen stroke and every rough draft of any story that I write. I am the things that inspire me to write more, dream bigger, and to never stop.