Relationship Struggles of a Clean Freak and a Slob

I was 18 once I moved out of my parents house, and into my own. When I lived at home, I was always in spite of my Mom who tried so desperately to teach me how to value a clean home, and how it makes her feel when she works from the moment she comes home, to almost the moment she goes to bed making sure our home was clean. But, you try telling that to my teenage self. In my mind, my room was messy-organized and if I cleaned it I would lose everything. My mom and I would fight over the stuff in my room and how I never picked up after myself. Some days, I'd come home to everything in giant garbage bags sitting the middle of my room because my Mom had enough of it. But all that changed when I moved into my space and started to understand why she got after me so much.

When I go out to visit people, I find myself looking at how they live in such disgust. "Why does their house smell like this?" "Why don't they just wipe that off the floor?" "Why can't they vacuüm, or sweep?" I'm judging people based off their home and not off what really matters. To be honest, I almost refuse to go to anyone's homes now and just offer to do it at mine. Call me a psycho, but I always want to clean their homes for them, show them what a clean home is. To show them what it's like to come home, walk in the house and it smells clean, relaxing and comforting. When they come home, is that how their home makes them feel when they take their first breath in? Am I the only one who comes home and takes a deep breath in? Well, my mom did not deserve that Facebook post I made towards her designed by my angry teenage hormones. "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life." Taking care of your home should be as important as taking care of yourself. Your home is an extension and a reflection of YOU.

Three years ago I met my boyfriend, we'll call him Joe. When he moved in, I was so pleasantly surprised that Joe helped me do the dishes, he picked up after himself ,and even helped me to find my inner chef by challenging me to try to prepare new foods out of my comfort zone. As time progressed, he stopped helping me do the dishes, he'd put them in the sink and walk away from me, and tell me to "come join him" on the couch to watch a show. Are you kidding me? There's food still on those plates! That's going to get caked on and I'll have to scrub it off! You left crumbs all over the table! I can't sit down? What if someone comes over unannounced and judges me!? So I tell him no and proceed to clean up in a huff, while he shrugs and puts Family Guy on or whatever show he feels like watching.

If I recall correctly, the moment I realized the Love of my Life was a slob was the first time he threw a hissy fit over me asking him to pick up his clothes off the floor; pants, underwear, shirt and socks. "But I'm just going to wear them tomorrow!" he shouted at me frustrated. I simply asked him "even the same shirt, underwear, and socks?" He sighed in such an over exaggerating way and got out of bed like it was the end of the world. He still does it. We still get into that argument years later. If he knows I'm going to nag at him to do it, and heaven forbid I do and he gets mad at me for asking... Why do it? Why not just pick it up the first time to avoid that conversation all together? Is that 30 seconds you're saving really worth the fight? I've been waiting for Three YEARS to understand that logic.

I've deciding to write a small series of articles about how I started to overcome that situation that would literally make me want to pull my hair out of my head. I started to slowly figure out how to get things done and to keep up a clean home with two dogs and one lazy ass boyfriend. I'm sure there's more people out there who are in the same situation. I've tried it all to get him to help out and sometimes you just can't get someone to change their "slobbish" ways. These articles are also just a nice way to vent and let go of all that frustration and stress into words, because honestly sometimes I feel I'm over exaggerating as well.

If you're in the same kind of relationship, keep an eye out for my installments to this article. I'll be going over the importance of developing a schedule for yourself, tips I found worked for me to get him to help me out more, and how I keep up with the dog hair, and a lot more! Every relationship is special, and every relationship has its own struggles. But at the end of the day, I love my boyfriend with all my heart.