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Relationships can be amazing, but they can also be stressful. If you read my profile, you're probably looking at my title thinking what does a 22-year-old know about relationships. In my own opinion, I know a lot about them, but I want to talk about how my girlfriend and I made it work even when we did not want it to. I'm in a relationship for a year and some months now. We met like most people are meeting these days: The internet. My girlfriend is a great person from her personality to her looks. When we first met, we got along very well. Long story short, not too long after meeting, we had to move in together. Being with her was new to me, and not because we just met, but because we both dress like boys and I was used to dating a fem.
A fem is a female who dresses like a girl. Our clothes should not matter, since we are both females, but they do. We are both dominating females, and this has nothing to do with wanting to be a guy.
Our relationship was great, but we argued a lot over stupid shit mainly. Due to my girlfriend's past relationship, she was very protective of her feelings. When we would argue, she would not want to talk about it, just move on and pretend it never happened. I'm not like that. I would piss her off more trying to talk about it, and eventually I stopped trying. I would sit and think about how I could make her open up to me. I wanted to know what I did and why it made her upset, but I did not know how to. We argued more and we grew tired of it; we loved each other, but wanted to break up. We tried talking about it, but that was not working. The problem was not us being together, it was the fact we did not want to stop doing the things that we labeled as "that is just who I am." We had done it before and it did not end well, so we were afraid to do it for each other.
Some time had passed before we actually sat down and talked like adults. No yelling, no talking over one another, just listening and understanding.
I think all relationships need compromising, understanding, and actually listening to each other about everything. Be honest and see what your spouse does or doesn't like—and be able to say I'm sorry when you know your wrong. Don't keep drilling them once you figured out you were in the wrong, it is okay to apologize.
The most important thing to me is being your spouse's friend. You have to be their friend before you can be their lover. Sometimes your spouse may say something you don't agree with, but instead of looking at it like "you are my boyfriend/girlfriend," look at it like "you are my friend." Your spouse will tell you certain things because they are your friend—they maybe even consider you their best friend, and best friends tell each other everything, even if it will make them upset. As your best friend, you expect them to forgive you, so it should be no different with your spouse. Your spouse should be your best friend and your lover.
My spouse and I have overcame any difficulties in our relationship. Now we are trying to build our life together as a couple and as friends. We are happy with each other, and we both are loved unconditionally. If you feel the love of your spouse, and you think it can work, talk to each other, listen, and really try to change the things your spouse has a problem with. That does not mean change who you are completely for them, but if it's something such as pride, or the fact you hate to be wrong, change or you might be missing out on the love of your life.
To all my women and men out there, LEAVE that relationship if you are not seeing better in your spouse or they show you they don't care. It is not worth it, but YOU ARE. Stop putting yourself last because you want to be loved, trust me, when it's your time the person for you will enter your life. Live life for yourself. Life is short and every day is not promised.