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Relationships and Leading Guys On

Desire genuine friendships, but accused of leading guys on instead? Is the problem a matter of you or the guy?

By Maggie HannaPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
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Relationships, they're everywhere and they're unavoidable. Not just dating relationships, but all kinds. Sometimes it's easy to define a relationship between two people, but other times it's more difficult, specifically between friendships and romantic relationships. It seems to be even more difficult when you are the one in the blurry relationship because you can't ever be exactly sure of what your partner is thinking and feeling. Hell, sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking and feeling. When someone shows interest in you, there is a series of choices to be made. You can pursue a dating relationship, a friendship, or no relationship. Initially though, it's often hard to decide which is best and which is most desirable. The question "what do you want?" may seem simple, but most often comes with complications.

In my own life, I've found myself leading on guys more than I'd like to admit. I can most definitely say however, that they were all unintentional. I simply have a naturally flirty personality and an indecisive mindset. I also value close friendships, but guys often see close friendships as the door to a romantic relationship. So how can I have a close friendship without leading a guy on? Great question. I don't know. What I do know is that communication is key. If you notice that a guy is clearly interested in you and you do not have reciprocated feelings, tell him. If he chooses to end the relationship entirely (like some guys in my life have done), you know that he wasn't worth investing your time in anyways. That sucks, I know, but if you are seeking genuine friendships, it's a process that has to happen. On the other hand, if a guy receives the news well and continues the relationship, you know you have most likely gained a true friend!

One of the major issues I see here is the phrase "leading guys on." I once had a friend that didn't believe in it. He claimed that guys simply misinterpret a girl's actions and intentions. He even claimed that the blame for being "led on" should not fall on the girl's shoulders, but rather on the guy's for the misinterpretation. This concept initially shocked me, but I now see a lot of truth to it. If your intentions are pure in desiring the development of a friendship, I think the guy is the one with the issue. Obviously, if your intentions are to make a man feel some sort of way with no goal of a relationship then you are to blame for "leading him on." This issue is pretty blurry in guidelines, but often it causes great complications. So, go make those relationships you desire. Go date that boy you've had your eye on. Develop deep and genuine friendships. Just remember how your actions can affect others and always have pure intentions. I don't think you can go wrong there.

:)

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About the Creator

Maggie Hanna

Just a college student trying to live my best life :)

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