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Relationships or Dynamics

The Truth

A dynamic and a relationship are similar things. Dynamics are sometimes a type of relationship. The difference between a relationship and a dynamic is that a relationship includes more than just sex and dynamics may only be about sex. Dynamics don't always have to involve sex though. I consider stuff like play buddies or friends with benefits to be under the dynamic umbrella, whereas a dom/sub situation can be considered a relationship or a dynamic. A relationship is where you date and spend time with someone, whereas a dynamic can be more about sex or other stuff. Sugar baby and sugar daddy relationships are more dynamics in my opinion.

The art of having a relationship or dynamic is lost on some people because they don't want to put work into being with people. A lot of people mainly are out to have an easy hookup or be in a threeway. I am not saying anything bad about hookups and threeways, I'm just saying a lot of times people prefer that over having a real relationship.

One reason people are not wanting to be in a real relationship is because they are afraid of having feelings or being hurt. People that are younger are a lot of times more afraid of catching feelings then they are catching anything else. I have met men who don't wear condoms and just want to hook up. So in my head, I'm thinking, "so you don't want to use condoms and risk catching something but you don't want to catch feelings and be in a relationship?" That's insane to me, I rather catch feelings, they are easier to deal with. I had a friend with benefits who got mad at me for being honest and saying that we needed a plan for if I caught feelings, we no longer speak.

People are also too lazy to put in the effort for a relationship. That's why dynamics are more popular these days. People may also not know how to be in a relationship. People rather Netflix and chill then date because it's less pressure and they don't want to plan a real date. Hanging out and Netflix and chill is fine if you aren't looking for a real relationship or every so often if you are already dating someone else. I have talked to people for like months and they never said anything about meeting up and when I ask them about meeting up they either ghost or they act like that is such a strange concept. It's like they don't realize that the point of looking for a dynamic or a relationship is that you actually have to get off the site or app and meet someone.

So whether you want a dynamic or a relationship, the one thing you have to remember is you have to put time into it, don't be lazy. It is also important to know what you want out of this and to be honest in the first place with whoever you are with from the start. Especially if you want a poly relationship. There is nothing worse than wasting peoples' time when you are not looking for the same things. If I was looking for a relationship, I would be honest when talking to someone. Also, talk to the person about what a relationship or the type of dynamic you want looks like to them. Don't agree to something just to make the other person happy. 

So I may do a post about etiquette in dynamics and relationships or just dating etiquette later. I hope this made sense and that it wasn't just rambling.

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