Relationships With a Narcissistic Person

Most love stories begin with a kiss, where he is wearing this mask where it does not reflect his true being. The first meeting becomes more dates as you are so wrapped up with infatuation, being in his arms, laughing, loving, hot intimacy, enjoying each day, two worlds created into one. But yet, his mask is still covering his true being. Faux innocence, his naturedness; it’s all just an illusion. You are not even ready for what’s under this mask.

As it dawns on you, you start to lose contact with friends and family, quitting jobs to please his sickening obsession to make you his prey, to take total control over your life. You feel a desire to please his every request. More time, answering every call, every text, every request.

Fast forward a few years, each day a new argument. Even with not being in the wrong, somehow he reverses it onto you. The whole situation is your fault. Your self -esteem starts to deteriorate over time as he throws your past in your face, says you deserved any horrible treatment. Remembering how it was in the beginning, sharing stories, secrets, etc. Believing that this man has your heart in his best interest. This man is there to defeat your soul, rip apart your wounds slowly, carefully. Instead of nursing your wounds, he is a wretched surgeon that takes your madness and takes your doubts that he will actually change. He feeds on your pain, like a leech that has found a new prey. The fairytale is over, the mask has been removed. With so much low self-esteem, you are trapped in his game.

You feel like you can wake up from this horrible nightmare to only see it is all reality. You question yourself as if you are the reason why he has been so cruel. You were once a carefree, loving person. Now you feel like you are being turned into someone you don’t recognize; oversensitive, hardly a smile, unloving, heartless.

He ignores you, after spending so much time to belittle the person you used to be. Time is spent apart, both of you in separate rooms, if one things get in his way. He is there like the demon you see him to be, and it’s off to another twisted party in his mind as he messes with your mind and heart.

Romance to a narcissist isn’t romance until they feel powerful, like they are on some type of drug that gives them the energy to inflict pain onto you each and every day. You will never have a fairytale life with them. You are their forever prey until you get out.

Isolation, betrayal, and pain overcome you. You soon believe that his “rage days” are always going to happen. You live in constant fear that he is going to torment you, and then he does. Just because he is making it a play in his twisted mind. He makes a world of a false reality, changing your inner voice, the twisting of words that come out from your mouth. Making him more powerful by the moment. His real intentions are quickly hidden. He turns around and tries to show you the man you first met.

Provoking and taunting, twisting words brings trauma. Negative words and emotions are what keeps him getting the reaction he is expecting. He always has to outdo you in everything, whether if it’s him buying you the things you needed or wanted. He throws it in your face, but you have never done so for him. Nothing is ever good enough for him. You do and do over. Still so many put-downs on how you are not good enough. Belittling, making sure he is seen as a better parent or person than you. Throwing your flaws out for the world to see. Insults you in front of mutual friends, behind your back. When he is wrong, he says you are complaining. When you stop communicating, he starts complaining. Starting all over again with the belittling, the put-downs, etc. It starts all over again and again. You wonder if he ever loved you, or was it just the idea of you? They do and say anything they want, but how dare you say anything back? You are always in the wrong in their eyes. They have their own set of rules, to which they never follow, but expect others to follow their rules. They paint this picture of themselves as being the victim.

Only once in a while will they hide behind the mask again and try to make sure you don’t leave. Showing you love and respect, but you are not as strong as you once were to just walk away. You want to be loved, but then you are scared. You are scared to be close, scared of the intimacy as he gets angry if you don’t provide him with any love or intimacy in return. You jump at his every touch. When he comes to kiss you, you jump. After all the hurt, how do you react? He is known to treat others with respect, except those who are closer to him. He is known to be so evil that he is willing to jeopardize anyone, even his own children. To help him out in a misleading situation. Not being afraid if he affects them in the future.

He is envious of others, in case he can take credit for their good deeds, actions, or good fortunes. If words don’t add up later on after he takes the credit, it’s usually because the truth wasn’t part of the equation. He usually takes credit for what you have done for others, stating it was all his idea.

You usually sit there, wondering how can I get away? As he always takes from you but never gives. He takes your money without you knowing or even bribes you to get money from you, compare you to others. He wants to see you fall apart, he wants to see you fail. You go to him for support, wanting to finish school. He once again belittles you and says you don’t need to go. You will never pass the class you always failed. He is a snake. As a dog will look down when he is in the wrong, this snake will look at you right in the eyes.

He is not struggling to overcome his demons. You are not there to help him overcome his demons. He is committed to conceal them, but he is also there to make sure you are the one he attacks. You feel like you are losing your mind, trying to understand his. He is the epitome of a wolf in a sheep’s clothing.

When he is faced with the uncomfortable truth, he will often angrily change the subject. Bringing up anyone’s flaws, other than his own. He avoids responsibility for his actions and then tries to blame you. He brings in his mother as if she had anything to do with his problem. He is always looking for attention. If he starts a fight, he goes and tells others that you are the one that started yelling. To take the bad attention off of him and place it on you. You start to have others look at you in a wrong light, fewer and fewer friends come around, fewer friends calling you. They start hanging out with him more, ignoring you and what heart you have left. You feel isolated, alone, and depressed. Scared to be alone.

He is this constant bully, kind of like the ones you had in grade school. But much worse. He likes to push boundaries and expects no one to push his buttons. He is vindictive and will get revenge on anyone who does anything to him. His way of thinking is to have you turn out to be like him. He will do anything to mold your mind like his.

Eventually, arguments escalate, making threats on your personal being. He says things that make you cringe with fear, and you don’t know what to do, knowing he won’t physically hurt you, but still hurts you emotionally. He has no regard for your feelings and states he feels horrible for what he says later on. Only to have you relive it again and again. Best thing to do is ignore him, the best skill you can ever acquire.

As he avoids emotions and accountability, instilling doubt in your mind that you will never find someone who will honestly love you, he subjects you to the silent treatment after an argument, speaks negatively about you on social media, blocks your way of leaving your home to get away for a while, blows up your phone with horrible derogations. He shames your emotions, claiming that you are crazy.

The only true closure you can have is to walk away. It will come from within. Realizing the truth you can’t hide from. You can’t cry it away, eat it away, run away, therapy away. You have to learn to love yourself once again. Once he sees you have overcome his sick mind, you have won.

The story never ends...