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I have been watching and reading a lot of self care stories and after going through these stories I am just amazed at how inordinately ridiculous we as humans can be. A lot of the stories I have been reading start with some backstory about the “why” in which some of these authors came to the realization that they needed to take care of themselves rather than others. I couldn’t help but relate with these people on every single level possible. We seek justification, affection, comfort, peace, approval, love, just about everything from other people. Women, we do this especially. We have this innate need to be wanted and needed by a man. Not just any man, but a man that WE want. We get it in our heads, with the help of said guy, that they want us too, that it’s a mutual feeling and what not. Then we are lied to, manipulated, ignored, etc., without so much as a reason or explanation. Oh, let me tell you sis, I have your answers to the questions WE ALL ask ourselves:
1. Why is he ignoring me?
He’s busy or simply just not that into you. He’s not thinking of you, period. Accept it. Move on.
2. What did I do/say that was wrong to make him lose interest?
Nothing, sis. Chances are he wasn’t even that interested in you before hand.
3. How can I get him to like me the way I like him?
Don’t try. If he wants you, he’ll make it known. Match his interest or lack thereof.
If you’re talking to or with the right person, it will be easy. Everything will come easy. Talking, communicating, you’ll make each other a priority.
My biggest problem for the past about five years of me being single is that I ALWAYS chase. I always have the same realization over and over again and that is simply that I deserve better and I am worth more. I have an innate need to heal people. I am told repeatedly that people are just drawn to me for my light and how I am peaceful for people. I can’t be drained and dumped with no remorse anymore and I won’t any longer. I know my worth. And I am angry at myself for forgetting who the hell I am and what a badass I am. I’m not gonna forget again.
The thing with people like me, with that healing vibe, that light that attracts the darkest of souls, is that we do just that. We attract the people who are so broken and so torn up for their past that they come to us and we willingly give them our light and feed them our healing energy. The thing that ALWAYS ends up happening is simply this: we are the ones who end up hurt in the end. We are the ones who end up having to rebuild our hearts. Rebuild and regain our light and heal ourselves. By the time we do so, the next person attracted to that light comes to suck you dry. It’s a repeating and vicious cycle that leaves people like me broken and alone.
The self help articles and videos I have watched all end the same. They realize they need to focus on themselves and to stop giving other people their all if they don’t get the same in return. Relationships in any form are about the give and take of love, affection, caring, etc. all based on emotions. If you’re giving all you are and getting little to none in return, it will drain you and you will become empty. Stop doing this. You need to worry about your heart and your soul and not anyone else’s. It’s not your job to heal what someone else broke in another person.
“Don’t choose anything that will jeopardize your soul.” - Matthew McConaughey
Ladies, gents, remind yourselves daily of how special you are. Remind yourselves daily that you are worth absolutely everything and you deserve the world and more. Don’t EVER settle for less than what you deserve in this life. I’ll be damned if I settle.