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Sadness

The Emotion We Can't Seem to Escape

By Miah HandPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Sadness. It's like trying to avoid the Black Plague. You can try but only get so far before it takes claim over you.

We all know how it feels to be down and how much it sucks being in that state. And why? Because a boy/girl broke our heart? Because we couldn't buy something we really wanted? A significant person in our life passed away? There are endless reasons why we aren't continuing to be our "normal selves." Don't ever be ashamed or feel like you shouldn't be upset at any time because, as humans, we all have feelings and it's okay to express them as we please. Sometimes, the unexpected happens and things seem like they will never recover, but time really does its part. You may feel like time has no mercy and mercy has no time, but you won't be broken forever. It just takes a little bit of encouragement.

Spend time with your loved ones and smile more than you ever have before.

Appreciate everything you have and understand how precious your life really is, despite whatever it is that is going on.

And here is the story of my sadness; how I wished it would go away and to be "normal" again.

**

There was a time where my life was all sunshine and rainbows, or so I thought. I was sitting at a desk, daydreaming of the boy I would have never even imagined myself with. He was an older boy, one that I had known for may years and stuck by. Our friendship continued to grow and each time I saw him, an untameable smile would spread across my face. Things were great. He was the boy I looked forward to seeing in my free time, the one I could always rely on to make me laugh. That was, until one day, my feelings toward him were no longer friendly. I desired something more, something I never expected to want between us. I knew I had to admit my secret admiration to him and, looking back, I should have never sent the text. He would have never known and I would still have him in my life now, even if it was just as the friend I always had. I texted him saying I developed feelings for him and, to my surprise, he responded accordingly, mentioning that he'd always had something for me deep down and that he would love to hang out more.

So that's what we did. We spent time together alone and it was magical. It was everything a girl would dream of, actually, and he was the cherry on top, knowing how to act and treating me like a princess. Each time he smiled, my heart melted, deepening my lust for him. Eventually, we became what I thought was an item. And as time went on, that item slowly began to chip away. They spent precious moments together, him being there to experience my most vulnerable state — my first time. The connection between them was so surreal, drawn to each other like vampire to blood.

Then, all of a sudden, there was nothing. He became cold. There was no connection any longer. He had lost it, and I was stuck trying to figure out what I had done wrong... if I had done anything wrong. The messages became less frequent and the x's and love hearts disappeared entirely. I knew that something was up, though he denied it every time, protesting that he was out of data or just didn't have time to message me. Days went by and the contact stopped completely. It was over. My most valued part of me had been taken by someone who I thought deserved it. I thought he deserved the world. That was until he ended things. My heart broke. I wished it was all a nightmare and that he wouldn't be leaving me the way he promised he never would. The promise meant nothing, the sexual encounters meant nothing, and the big one, I meant nothing. Time was so hard on me at first, I really didn't believe that I would ever recover from such a heartbreak, he being my first love and all. I would continue to see him for days on end hugging other girls or overhear him talking about older girls he plans to hook up with. The pain in my chest didn't weaken and in some dark times, I just wished he could be experiencing the same pain, too, or even understand the hurt he put me through. My heart was aching and he didn't even seem to care. He was happy being the attractive boy everyone wanted. He knew how easy it would be to get with an innocent girl like me and that's exactly why he took advantage of it all.

Through all of the events that took place, I don't regret it at all. I learnt a valuable lesson — lesson I hope everyone will understand/learn as well one day.

Don't ever treat someone how you wouldn't want to be treated. I know now that I never want to hurt anyone like how he hurt me because I understand how much it hurts and how hard it is to escape from the unavoidable sadness.

Time has helped relieve me of the pain. I can now smile and laugh again like I did before he ruined me. I no longer cry myself to sleep or listen to sad music just to think about him and what he did to me. I'm the opposite of unhappy and I truly hope it stays that way because the other emotion sucks.

Just remember, sadness is only temporary. No matter how hard things may seem... it won't be that way forever. Pain will diminish and the light will always find its way back to you.

breakups
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