Second Place

Recently, met a woman who was pretty much what I would call "dream girl." Physically stunning, curious, extremely hard working and caring, plus tattoos. It was a range of superficial pieces I enjoyed mixed in with a lot of depth, insight, and intellect. I would beam with enjoyment and excitement when the opportunity arose to speak.

The downside, I travel for work and she lives a few time zones back. No matter what, there was always going to be some sort of gap until my season was finished. Which, being a complete optimist, thought would be fine. Things continued to be great, phone calls, texts, and plans were being made. My season was winding down and I was about two months away from being able to see her.

We spoke and we decided it would be great for me to book my flight early so that I could see her and not break the bank. Everything is going well and then she disappears. Not unusual per se, but there was just a feeling about it, something was off. I could feel it in my core something was changing and not for the better. Minimal responses, communication and all in all just sort of left in limbo.

Eventually, I hear back from here. It's short, an apology for being "so terrible" as of late. Trying to be an adult and not let my emotions go, we chatted it out. Well, she disappeared again.

A couple of weeks go by and I know for sure something is up. You know that sinking feeling in your gut and that gnawing voice in your head telling you everything you know to be true but don't want to believe. Turns out, it was 100 percent accurate and right.

She tells me about this new guy she met, that they have something and she wants to see where it goes. Which is cool, but would have been better to find out at least by a phone call and not Facebook statuses, social media for the win, groan. It sucks, the air has been knocked out of my chest and the talking more or less dies right off.

The interesting part is this, she was going back and forth over what to do and it seems, chose because of time and distance. I mean, I get it we all have needs. The kicker here is I'm left with a stay in her city. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Not ideal by a long shot.

But it got me thinking. In any circumstance where the other person has to think about you as an option, including the guy she picked, it is not worth it. At that point, it would be more beneficial to just move along. It hurts, it sucks it's never fun on any level but we all deserve someone who jumps with joy or at least doesn't need to debate with themselves why they should be with you.

If that is ever your case, leave with your head held high. There are billions of people on the planet and no matter how perfect for you they might seem, questioning your abilities shouldn't be on the list. Being single isn't always fun or easy, maybe it is for you, but it has its advantages. Moments like this seem to remind us that in order for us to be our best selves we must continue to strive and do the things we enjoy. People will come and go but giving up your path or goals will be a haunting memory. So, even after all this for myself, it has led to a renewed sense of self and being.

A word to the wise for all the readers out there. If you ever receive a message from someone that they are going through I dunno, a hospital visit or surgery. Hold off on the bad news until they are cleared to go home. Nobody likes to wake up covered in blood, stitches and groggy to a novel of a text saying we should see other people.

All the best my friends, the dating world is weird and wonderful. We all find our match in our own time! If you enjoyed the article or others I have written please leave a tip, it will help with all future articles!

Thanks!

—Steven